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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I missing something?

15 replies

JVJ · 16/09/2023 17:44

My partner and I have been together for a few years, we live together and have a 1 year old. We do bicker quite a bit over silly things and I’m making a conscious effort to be happy and not let little things bother me and avoid arguments for our daughter. Today however, I was upstairs putting some laundry away, whilst gathering another pile of laundry and just generally going some household chores. My partner shouted my name and when I came downstairs he said ‘look she (our daughter) has spilt some tea so whoever left that there needs to sort it’. Essentially my dad had left half a cup of tea on the floor when visiting earlier that day. Because my daughter now spilt it he was said it was my responsibility to clean it up because my family member left it. I genuinely couldn't believe what I was hearing. I was in the middle of doing laundry (some of which was his) and he called me down to clear that up. When I questioned him he couldn’t believe I couldn’t see why he was angry. Am I missing something? Please tell me if I am because I want to try to see his point but I’m struggling. I spent all week (despite working part time) cleaning the house and keeping on top of things for him coming home from work (he works away). I made us breakfast this morning and washed his dishes and mine. I cleared his cup and glass that he used from upstairs and picked his dirty washing off the floor. This wasn’t my responsibility they were all his things but I did it anyway because you just help your partner out don’t you? It’s give and take. When I said I did this for him so couldn’t see why he couldn’t just clean up the tea he said it’s not the same. I just feel so low now. Advice appreciated.

OP posts:
izzygirlis4 · 16/09/2023 17:50

He's a knob. How that helps

Catsafterme · 16/09/2023 17:56

Agree he's a knob. I always did my fair share, although I ended up doing it all. In that scenario it's nobody's fault or responsibility, just clean it up.

gamerchick · 16/09/2023 17:58

Well now you don't do shit for him do you? It's his mess, he can sort it

Aquamarine1029 · 16/09/2023 18:00

What a fucking insufferable man baby. You actually have sex with this idiot? Yuck.

Humidititties · 16/09/2023 18:01

You're not missing anything, he's a complete knob

Fizzadora · 16/09/2023 18:05

Is this new behaviour or has he always been like this and you have ignored or not really noticed it before. I found I had no patience at all for this sort of immature, twat like behaviour after having kids.
Time for some malicious compliance OP if that's the way he wants to play it. Or alternatively if you really can't be bothered with playing games tell him to shape up or piss off.

Jacksfesteringresentment · 16/09/2023 18:06

Well it was his fault really because he wasn't watching the baby, was he?

He's massively taking the piss, extremely unattractive behaviour.

Call you dad and ask him to come and clean it up as it was his tea, see what he thinks of the asshole you're unfortunate enough to live with.

Opentooffers · 16/09/2023 22:29

Well his pots can just stay where they are, as can any dirty clothes he leaves on the floor - that would irk me anyway if ther is always a linen basket available.

lincolngirl1097 · 16/09/2023 22:36

He Sounds awful!! I hope you only cook and clean for you and your baby tomorrow and let him sort himself out.

BananaSlug · 16/09/2023 22:39

Wow

stonedaisy · 17/09/2023 00:08

Total dick. Do zero for him from now on.

Frogger8395 · 17/09/2023 01:36

I hope you didn’t do his washing after this.

Superduper02 · 17/09/2023 09:04

Reading this I immediately thought he was probably annoyed that a cup of tea had been left on the floor (which is unsafe for a baby) so making the point of you clearing it up.

Maybe talk to each other about how yesterday was handled and how you both felt? See if you can agree to give each other more grace going forward.

Incognito2023 · 17/09/2023 09:19

Totally HIS fault - for not supervising his own child !

Don't get gaslit into thinking you’ve done anything wrong here

Incognito2023 · 17/09/2023 09:22

Also - you mentioned you only work part-time - hope that doesn’t mean he gets out of doing his share of chores? Because when you’re not working you are a full-time mother

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