No to this?

[Popsickletwee]

New relationship and …
he hates condoms.
Both in our forties. First new relationship after long term Relationship ended. He wants to stop using them. I’m worried about sti’s. He is a nice respectful guy otherwise. But opinions please….

😂 ah sorry bit tired today DS1 unwell!

They had a segment on how to work out the correct size it involves a piece of strong and a formula 😂

He gets an Sri tart and you agree on what other method of contraception you're going to use

STI test

Nobody really loves condom usage do they?

It's just waaaaaaay preferable to an STI or unwanted pregnancy.

He can choose between his desire for sex and his desire to not wear a condom.

If he's had a (provable) vasectomy and a recent STI check that he can show you the results of maybe you can go without, but otherwise this is essentially a stranger who has openly told you he doesn't like to protect himself against STIs; why would you take the risk?

Would be a no from me.

But then, I'd never have sex without one anyway.
I mean, sorry to be graphic but on times where condoms have broke, it's taken 2 or 3 days for sperm to stop leaking out of me. I don't understand why anyone would choose that, it's fucking grim. Always makes me wanna howk when people are like 'oh what does it matter if you're in a committed relationship?'. Don't care how much I love ya mate, I don't want your swimmers in my tubes.

I would say sti test and then vasectomy.

Being kind and respectful doesn't mean you can't catch anything

My previous boyfriend didn't like em either. It was wearvem or no action. He soon complied🤣

He's putting his needs/wants above yours. That would be a no from me so early on.

@unsync

He's not putting his needs or wants above hers. He is simply stating his preference as is the OP.

They resolve this difference by respecting each others right to have different preferences and move on to find new partners who share their particular preferences.

No has to be right or wrong and no one need feel pressured. Life is too short and there are far too many potential partners.

Thanks for the comments I think I quietly panicked about stis. I’m ok with taking contraception but yes testing first makes sense. Many of us in long term relationships are not using condoms hence making babies. It just seems scary when it’s someone new I guess. From the answers there is obviously quite different opinions/preferences. I need to trust before I make any decisions.

Before ditching condoms you need to be able to trust that he's being exclusive with you which is hard to do when you're in the dating phase. However it's fine to ask for an STI test.

How long have you been seeing him? I mean without is definitely preferable but I wouldn't suggest that early on for obvious reasons, more longer term and if had other form in place.

I wouldn't care if I was asked to get checked, kinda common sense and peace of mind for both.

Indeed many of us In long term relationships do not use condoms

but this is not long term. It is new. And yet he felt it appropriate to ask this of you. And to me - that speaks volumes about his character.

And are you prepared to go back on the pill?

This!

Yeah I'm not sure what all the drama on this thread is about. Surely Sti test then you're both fine. If you're still fertile then you need to think about that obviously but condoms are a faff!

Agree with this!

Having said that though, the best sex I ever had was with an ex boyfriend who used condoms - he loved it too.