Partner away and I've wasted my precious alone time

[happygertie]

So I love my own company and I also love indulging in things that make me happy- reading a good book, dog walks, trashy telly, a good movie, cooking, pottering.

My partner is away for the weekend and I have been looking forward to it for weeks. But yet again, as per usual I have wasted the opportunity to have a blissful Friday night.

Instead of having a lovely tea and relaxing evening filled with all my favourite things, I have a shit tea as I couldn't decide what I wanted! I have starred at my phone for hours and just have settled enough to relax and watch a film/ read a book. I do this every time I get the house to myself for the weekend.

Why? I must really miss my partner and prefer to be in his company, and I think that I like my own space and company when I know that my partner is either home but doing his own thing or out but coming home.

I'm off to bed and a bit disappointed that I didn't have a evening of relaxation and self care that I was planning. Will try again tomorrow evening.

What "shit tea" did you have? Why didn't you plan for a favourite meal? It's still worth cooking even if it's just for you.

Sometimes it can take a while to "settle" in relaxation, I find. But keep doing restful things and get into the zone and you've still got tomorrow night!

Perhaps you like the idea of being alone, rather than actually being alone.

I like being alone but also waste it staring at my phone… like now… you’re not the only one.

Doing those things you describe are a type of self care - doing stuff because you enjoy it rather than because you need to do it. Self care isn't necessarily 'relaxing' at the time and always requires some effort.

Sometimes eating a 'shit tea' and just completely switching off is also 'self care' because it's what your body and mind need at that moment.

Once I realised that, it made it easier to not feel guilty or cross with myself for 'wasting' time which then made me feel relaxed and better able.to do the other nice stuff I enjoyed afterwards.

If that makes sense?

Otherwise, you get caught up in ruminating about having wasted time which is, actually, a complete waste of time and gets in the way of you being in a good headspace to do other stuff.

Give yourself permission to have done nothing last night and you'll be less likely to repeat it tonight.

I always do this too
Then get really annoyed with myself

You just need to be better organised. Pick the dinner and activity you want to do before he's gone whilst you're still looking forward to it. Then just put the plan into action when he's gone.

You need to prep!

Invest in a couple of hours of running around today get all your jobs done, set out all pampering materials in lounge room. Get your food prepped, I find a go to is a fancy fruit salad.

Plan today and tonight now. Get the food in, pick a film in advance. I know exactly what you mean and it's because you aren't prepared and so you spend ages umming and aahing and not making a decision and sticking to it

I have been staring at my phone for an hour already this morning. I need an intervention... Don't be too hard on yourself.

Can you get yourself a lovely breakfast treat to make up for the shit tea?

Text a friend and have a spontaneous day out