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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships are a nightmare haha

3 replies

Uncertain007 · 15/09/2023 23:25

I'm gay and matched with a guy who was looking for "a long term relationship", to "settle down."

His previous relationship was with a woman and he isn't out to some of his family. I reckon he is actually bi sexual.

Anyway, we dated and got on so well, dating for 6 months. We shared days out together, stayed at each others homes and had time away. He said "I hope this goes somewhere."

We were committed, long term and exclusive. However after 6 months I kept wanting the talk about what we are. I told him I love him but only got back "I really, really like you."

Asking if we are in a relationship he said he doesn't like to label things as labels create expectations. If we were to enter a relationship he'd be worried he'd let me down as with his work he might not be able to meet up as often as I'd want to.

I ended it as I'm looking for a relationship. Foolishly (?!?) we started talking again as friends. I really do like him but don't understand his mind. He admits that he beats about the Bush in conversation and finds it difficult to open up.

Is he a commitment phobe, scared to be gay or what...?

OP posts:
Laneymoo · 15/09/2023 23:56

The best advice I got when OLD was "if he likes you, you'll know". As soon as this type of messing starts you need to cut your losses and move on. You won't be asking yourself these questions with the right person.

TheDaphne · 16/09/2023 00:01

Who knows, but it doesn’t work for you, whatever it is, so I’d stay away.

GameOverBoys · 16/09/2023 00:06

He’s just not that in to you. It’s harsh but if he was really into you he’d act like he was.
You sound like you deserve someone who doesn’t need persuading.

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