Work makes me doubt men , unfair on partner help

[Tryingmybestadhd]

I should stay by saying I changed my username but I’ve been using MN for a while .
Partner and me have been living together over 3 years , we have 2 kids each from previous relationships and one together. He is all in all a good partner , a good dad , we have no massive issues, kids , step kids all get along , we don’t argue much , we just come from 2 weeks if a lovely family holiday , our life is good . He hasn’t given me any reason to doubt him . I am however insecure , due to a mix of things , I work as a solicitor and I’m constantly dealing with marriages gone wrong , cheating , abuse , DV etc etc etc . I’m forever looking for signs something is off , it’s often done involuntarily, I then overthink it as I have ADHD so I can’t switch off and I sleep very little . I do my best not to acuse him of things , I’m by no mean jealous of him speaking with people or colleagues or anything like that , but it’s like I’m always scanning for “ signs “ , I then get overwhelmed and miserable , most times I’m sure he can’t even fast why 😔.
His anyone here the same way , can you share any strategies so I can keep my work and family life apart . Thanks

Therapy could help you process this and dig deeper into anything that you might not have considered as an underlying issue.

It's really hard not to mix your work life from your personal life. We end up spending most of our time working that it is naturally by the law of average, it will dominate your home life !
When you have a very demanding career, and you are witnessing to behaviours and actions that makes you question everything it's only natural that it will have consequences.
My advice is to speak with your partner and let him know what's going in your mind and the reasons why. you are in a partnership and I believe he should at least be able to reassure you and put your mind at ease about whatever is going through your head. If not then you have a bigger problem at hand.

Talk to him about it, communication is key and if he's decent he will understand and talk through it with you.

Other than that, at the end of the day if someone is that way inclined they will do it regardless but worrying about something that hasn't happened will achieve nothing other than messing your own head.

I'm kinda similar in that way, although I'm a guy but I think that stems from that I was cheated on when I was younger. Loyalty is important to me and cheating isn't something I tolerate, I won't do it to someone else either and never have.

When I was younger because of that instance I was wary and could quite easily drive myself into the ground. Now, I understand worrying achieves nothing, trust is important along with communication and if they break that trust, well... can't change that either.

I knew a Solicitor years ago when I was a much younger lad. Good friend of ours he was so one day I asked him “how can you defend criminals like child molesters, rapists and the like when you know they’re guilty then still feel alright about yourself.
His reply was “you don’t take your work home with you and you don’t take your home to work.
Think about it @Tryingmybestadhd just because the couples you encounter at work turned out to be incompatible it doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to be does it because the more time you spend looking for a problem in your relationship that isn’t there the more likely you are to find one.