Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

Original poster

Counselling

5 replies

DiddlyDonut · 14/09/2023 17:35

For those who have been cheated on and went for relationship counselling did it help?

P (he's not a 'DP' atm!) has admitted to cheating, he's got various reasons that's he's justifying to himself but has said he's sorry and wants to be with me.

He hates the thought of relationship counselling but without some assistance I know I can't get through this. I know I should LTB. Especially as his behaviour has been deceitful dishonest numerous times, he hadn't ever crossed this line.

I believe he's sorry. I believe (right now) he wants to be with me.

I guess im wanting counselling if what he's saying is true, and at least if it's all in vain it'll give me the strength to ltb.

Anyone here successfully salvaged a relationship where there was cheating?

OP posts:

Original poster

DiddlyDonut · 14/09/2023 20:15

Bump?

OP posts:

OneMoreCookieMonster · 14/09/2023 20:45

Nor in my experience. I don't think there's any coming back from it. Staying just prolongs the death throes.

How long have you been together? House, kids etc? Because all of that does complicate things. If you're not living together and not together long. Chuck back, he ain't worth it

Fidgety31 · 14/09/2023 20:49

Counselling might help you recognise your own self worth and realise that you have some boundaries that have been crossed …… and then you’ll gain the strength to move on from this low life .
Counsellng will not help you to accept and stay with a cheating deceitful liar .

Original poster

DiddlyDonut · 14/09/2023 22:41

We have a child.
I have a home in my name so no concerns there thankfully. I feel like just selling up and moving as far away as I can 😭

I hurt so much right now.

OP posts:

redastherose · 14/09/2023 22:58

It was a waste of time with my ex. He was sulky and resentful of me talking about it and his general shit behaviour towards me and our kids and the counsellor was as much use a a chocolate fire guard. Basically gave us no guidance and just kept trying to get us to do homework which was pointless because he didn't give a shit, just wanted me to forget about it. However that was probably mostly down to him being a narcissistic prick who liked to think he could do no wrong and hated that someone else apart from me knew he was a cheat and a liar! Should have dumped him straight away rather than trying to mend something that was already too broken!

Flip