Any advice? Currently pregnant too

[Girlmummaxx]

Currently 31 weeks pregnant. I have two children with somebody else&after failed contraception fell pregnant in February with the guy I was seeing for a year and a half. He has two other children with a previous partner & she has a daughter that isn’t his but has taken his last name.

Long story short, he created a situation out of nothing like he does best and we’ve gone our separate ways for a month now. I have tried to put things in place for our baby girl for him to play a role in her life & have contact. He was buzzing to be having his first baby girl & finally baby (he’s always said since we met he had one more in him to give love too) hence why we both decided to continue the pregnancy as he said regardless he’d be a massive support & I know he’s consistent and a good day to his children he already has. Everytime we have tried to speak over text he is hostile, passive aggressive and just not pleasant. He has since said to me that I’m not to message him again & im using baby as a weapon by not giving her his last name like his other children have & im toxic because of this and I can raise her by myself and all the best!!

I am gobsmacked, I didn’t retaliate despite the anger and hurt and replied a week or so later asking if we can just find a middle ground of respect for each other to work together to bring this baby up but separated. I’ve had no response or any acknowledgment.. I can’t believe I’ve been left to solely believe I am going to be mum & dad to our baby girl we both created

Who left who? Not that it matters, but I'm just wondering why he feels so entitled that the baby have his last name when you're not even together.

Prepare to do this alone, I don't even know him but I can tell he's going to be as difficult as possible. Don't forget to claim for child support either (and give the baby your last name!).

I do wonder if he’ll change his time once the baby is actually here. Not that it makes it ok, but some blokes don’t really bond with the child till they meet them.
I’d stick to your guns about the name. If you feel generous and open to a compromise you could use his name as a middle name, but frankly his attitude isn’t good enough at the moment.

He decided to walk away after a small argument that was created by him. Definitely realised it was for the best after time to reflect as I wasn’t 100% happy with how I was being treated. He’d hold grudges over the smallest things and it was constantly stepping on egg shells because if his feelings were hurt he’d ghost until he was ready to speak so always on his terms even if he was in the wrong..

I think the last name situation has really bothered him, but he knew he had full access to baby and i would of never of stopped contact and was prepared to put the past behind to co parent easily with him but for some reason he’s thrown the towel in on his own daughter

Personally he’s very abrupt and would probably tell me about myself if I even suggested his name as her middle. I agree some dads don’t bond until baby is here, however he was over protective when we was on good terms over bump sometimes too much and now because we’ve gone our separate ways basically taking it out on the baby too. I’m hoping his wake up call will be when she’s here (as frustrating as that is) and he decides to grow up and step up for the sake of his daughter. I guess it’s just a waiting game

Oh just let him get on with it. He can't force you to do any of the things he's got an issue with in your OP. You don't even have to put his name on the birth certificate so he needs to wind his damn neck in.

Sadly there’s plenty of shit quality men out there, unvasectomised. Your child will get your name, which is the right thing to do, and the ex boyfriend can pay for his latest child and likely continue to tantrum and humiliate himself over the upcoming decades.

Thanks guys!! Appreciate the comments. I already have a toddler and find he sulks more and throws his toys out the pram than she does at times. I definitely will be giving her my last name considering I am doing everything physically and financially to bring her into the world

And just to add OP, do not bother chasing him, the sad little man, but do make sure you get CM through the official channels. Good luck!

Bless you, I definitely won’t be. I’ve been through the same situation before so am less tolerant towards mens bs!
Im making myself look an idiot here.. but, how do I apply for child maintenance when I don’t have an address for him?😟 I literally only have a contact number.. he lives in shared accommodation due to the field of work he’s in and being moved around alot. Will that be enough to chase for maintenance? 😬