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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DP horrible to me

5 replies

MumsDailyNap · 13/09/2023 21:27

I've been with my DP for 19 years and have 2 DD, 4years and 7months. We were quite happy living separately until we had our first DD. Since we had our first child our relationship has gone downhill, we never go out as a couple, he never compliments me, he's quite rude in the way he speaks to me and regularly puts me down, my self esteem has become so low, I use to be quite bubbly, happy and confident and now I'm the total opposite. I have put on 3 stone since the birth of DD1 and honestly think he finds me unattractive.

I have spoken to him before about the way he speaks to me, I've told him if he carries on I will leave him, her just tells me to shut up and goes off in a strop... I don't think I can live with him much longer but I don't have anywhere else to go, he also threatens if I go the kids will stay with him....

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 13/09/2023 21:32

Do you work ? Do you own/rent ? If you rent is your name on the rental agreement ?

MaryJanesonabreak · 13/09/2023 21:52

Bully men often threaten to keep the children, it’s just to keep you in line. The courts decide custody and no one else, unless you can manage mediation.
Don’t live with someone who makes you unhappy, it’s terrible for you and a terrible example to your children.
Make use of Women’s aid, see a solicitor, and get the ball rolling.

GrazingSheep · 13/09/2023 21:53

He has no interest in keeping the children
That is a tactic to control you

GuntherCentralPerk99 · 13/09/2023 21:55

Sadly he may feel that as he knows you don't have anywhere to go, he will probably be certain he knows you won't go, so that is why he carries on that way, and trying to give you emotional blackmail by saying the girls stay with him, hope you can work a way of getting out. Is there any family or friends who would be able to help you to get out? Feel for you

BlastedPimples · 14/09/2023 06:57

What is your personal position? Do you work? Do you have somewhere to go?

This never gets better. It always gets worse. It's never going to be ok with him.

He already sounds horrific. Please start to plan to get away.

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