Should I stop initiating contact with friends?

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I've noticed that I am always the one initiating contact with friends. I've not messaged anyone for days and days now due to circumstances and nobody has been in touch with me. This has happened before too. It has made me think that perhaps friends are just replying to me out of kindness and I should back off. Can I wind this back and make less contact without it coming across that I am flouncing? I don't want to pester people. I had somebody in my life who would text and I would groan whenever I saw the alert and I want to be able to read the room and not be that person.

Hi op good thread. Yep same here if I dont plan the next coffee or breakfast or.. they dont. I took big step back. I just thought lately let someone else take the lead. Same with husbands friends. We said yeh let us know your dates. Threw it back on her to arrange it!! Ive no advice tired it now

I have one friend who never contacts me, I always make the first move, but she's always glas to hear from me and we have a lush time together, so I don't mind.

I have another friend who is like warm when she hears from me, so I've given up.

Just read the room and work out whether people are genuinely happy to hear from you or not.

I wouldn't ditch them! People can just settle into those habits, and because they then feel right, feeling pressure to change them can be irritating. It doesn't mean that they don't like and value you. I have some friends who are always the ones initiating contact. I want to see them from time to time, but not necessarily more than I already do, and I know they'll get in touch anyway, so...
Obviously if I thought this was upsetting someone I'd try to find a balance that worked for both us, but honestly, I just don't think about it that much. If someone reproached me for it, I'd have to make a bit of an effort not to have the knee-jerk reaction of pulling away. And of course there have been times when I was the more invested person, and if it got to the point to the point where I was perceiving the imbalance as rejection it naturally felt shit - but any hint of resentment on my part, and the other person did not end up reacting how I wanted (i.e. to start wanting to spend more time with me). It made me realise I had to go with the flow, and the only way I could influence the situation was by making other friends and re-classifying the friendship as a much more casual one.

I completely feel you, as I am very much in the same position. If I don’t initiate contact and make bookings etc none of my friends (most of whom are single so they don’t have any excuse such as busy with family and kids) do. Recently three different friends cancelled plans last minute. I have decided to stop being a people pleaser and stop always initiating plans. I suspect this will result in losing a few more friendships. This is unfortunately modern life in the UK where everyone is just too busy with their little bubble. My parents live in Europe and have a much wider social network than me.
so I don’t have an obvious answer other than to join activities/clubs to try to broaden your network and hopefully meet others who might be more willing to make an effort due to a shared hobby.

Yes hobbies good. I think I got resentful that nobody makes the effort now. Its gets one sided then ....

I think I would be inclined to leave it and see how long it takes them to reach out to you. I did this with two 'friends' and rarely hear from them ever , but have made a really lovely friend whose friendship is very my 50/50 and it's much nicer anyway

One of my closest friends never initiates contact but when we meet up we always have a great time and love each other to bits..I just accept that she is how she is and her life is quite different from mine

My other friends it just balances out and I really don't give it too much head space.
Sometimes I can go for weeks not speaking to friends but it really doesn't bother me because we are all busy and friendships are solid .

I have found individual friends a little like this. I think life genuinely is very busy and people just don't think.
I wonder whether organised groups - depending on your age and interests but WI, Inner Wheel/Rotary, the Lion's Club or sports groups or meet ups might fit the bill. Then there is always something going on.