I'm a bit concerned for a loved one. He recently left a very unpleasant relationship that was fairly short lived but intense in nature and his reaction to the split seems quite out of proportion and I'm wondering if it might be related to him being autistic.
The woman was considerably older than him, and I personally think swooped in on him a bit because he was quite vulnerable and doesn't spot manipulation in people at all. I spoke to her a few times and she came across as very manipulative and false.
She sort of domineered him, I suppose being quite controlling and cutting him off from loved ones and she insisted on being attached at the hip so he established new "routines" which involved doing everything with her.
He'd expressed to me he was quite unhappy with it but she'd more or less moved in with him after just a couple of months, which he found very uncomfortable as he has his "routines" and space and that's very important to him.
I asked why he agreed and he said she was subjecting him a lot of tears and tantrums and showing up at his house late at night and he felt it was just easier to "give in". He said she was sometimes very kind but with big tantrums so he just let her have what she wanted for an easy life.
He expressed to me several times that he felt trapped and very uncomfortable and that while he liked her, he wasn't in love with her and felt very stressed out that she was demanding this from him so quickly and that he didn't think there was a future with her.
He tried to break it off quite a few times but she sort of kept hoovering him back in and I think he was so accustomed to her being omnipresent that he felt a bit at a loss. He frankly seemed extremely anxious and out of character at this time and I didn't think the situation was making him at all happy.
He managed to finally make the break and she took up with someone else within less than a week and moved in with him a couple of weeks later, which seems a concerning pattern and confirms he made the right decision.
He was relieved initially but then got really quite unwell with stress and is really struggling and says he wants to phone her. Ivasked if he wants to get back together and he says "no" but he says having her around is the only thing he thinks will take away the panicky feeling.
It's exasperating us a bit, as she's so dreadful and clearly didn't make him feel calm at all but now he seems to think so. He's been really unwell with stress and has been crying and acting quite out of character.
I'm wondering if autism is part of this? Ie: his routines and sources of company and comfort changing so dramatically overnight?