”You’ll change your mind one day”.

[ThisWillBeMyDay]

Why do people say this garbage?

I want to start off by saying that I never bring up this topic or talk about it.

But whenever people (family members, friends, sometimes even co-workers) ask about dating stuff, I honestly say I’m not interested. Same about kids, don’t want any.
I get told the title, or I haven’t met the one, I shoudn’t be so mean (!!) etc.
Why do some people care?
Same thing about sex (friends) some have made mean comments because I don’t want it. I know I don’t own anyone explanations, but I tried honestly in a hopes they’d leave alone. That I’m repulsed by it and do not want anyone touching me, sexually or not.
But I’ve still been mocked, told to grow-up, everybody wants it, and again, I’ll change my mind one day.

Why do some people get so bothered by it?
I don’t understand.
Again, I do not start these conversations.

Some people are unable to understand why other people don’t want the same things as them; they’re all small minded - carry on doing whatever makes you happy

Why do YOU get so bothered about people’s personal projections on you and their insecurities?

I get the same question a lot too! I also don't want kids...

It's funny how it's also a taboo to give justifying reasons against something that is considered 'normal':

"I don't want kids because I don't want to spend my life taking care of something that may turn out to be a disappointment."... I'd rather go on unhindered holidays.
(Ooo, can't say that!)

People who are very dim say things like that.
They just don't have any/enough elasticity in their brains.

It's sad really.

Come over to the childfree board.

It's annoying. If people say they want to get married and have kids noone says 'one day you'll change your mind but it will be too late'

People like to share their misery and don't like it if anyone shows that there are other choices than the ones they made.

I was told that when around the age of 14 I announced I would never get married. Never have and doubt I ever will. Two v long relationships however.

Sounds like you are aesexual. Surely they've heard of that? Is just tell them 'if you accept homosexuality and bisexuality and pansexuality then why don't you accept aesexuality? Its a thing. I shouldn't have to explain jt to you or justify it. Why don't YOU grow up?'.

Assuming there isn't underlying trauma for you...which may be the case considering you don't like people touching you at all. Or perhaps you have autism and dislike being touched as part of that? If these are the case it's still fine...but you might benefit from speaking to a professional. Just incase it is trauma or something like ocd talking and not actually you.

But you are entitled to your own desires or lack there of.

Because you are very unusual - so much so it baffles them. They're probably just curious and wonder why you don't want incredible normal things.

I found because a lot of the times they are unhappy with their choices and situations so there’s a lot of projection. As a PP said above those people are miserable and want to make you feel miserable as well. Don’t bite. It’s pointless arguing or getting mad.

I get similar re not being married. Remember a group of (married) women in my early 30’s saying “you can’t say never”. Still don’t understand why some people think you can say “forever” in making a marriage commitment but can’t commit to different life choices!

There’s one thing being curious but this isn’t happening to thiswillbemyday. These horrid people are mocking her and being mean.

They lack empathy, and cannot imagine feeling that way. For some people its the main agenda in life, what gets them up in the morning. I guess for people like that it would be hard to imagine. But honestly if they are aggressive about it, theyre just dicks.

Smile sweetly. "It's very unlikely. How are you finding this hot weather? I heard it's going to be raining by the weekend"

Next time someone says it, ask them why they are so interested in your sex life.

Because unless you have tte skin of a rhino, those comments are all hurtful. Made to make the OP feel ‘abnormal’, not good enough and certainly unable to know fur herself what she likes/dint like, want/don’t want.

Id say pretty normal to be hurt by that sort of comments coming from FRIENDS (or family).

@ThisWillBeMyDay if someone starts a conversation again, you need to cut it short, right at the start and not engage. You don’t owe them any information on your sex life nor any explanation. Tell them to get lost just they would if someone was starting to scrutinise their own sex life, tell them they ought to do kink and they’ll come round to it one day….

Some people may be genuinely thinking they are helping you or giving advice that will be useful. Most are probably not that bothered and are just being knowingly or unknowingly inconsiderate.

If people are that rude to you just be rude back and lie through your teeth and say really obvious lies like "I'm waiting to marry royalty only" or something equally banal.

You don't have to expose yourself to other people's judgement and unwanted remarks by answering their rude, intrusive, invasive questions honestly.

Protect yourself by having a few lines ready to throw out so they know you are not interested in their rubbish. A lot of peer pressure is just about persistence. If you tell people to F off enough eventually most people get it and will.

There will always be nasty people who won't leave you alone. Just try not to spend time with people who show themselves to be like this and find more people who are nicer and leave you alone.

Because unless you have tte skin of a rhino, those comments are all hurtful. Made to make the OP feel ‘abnormal’, not good enough and certainly unable to know fur herself what she likes/dint like, want/don’t want

And even if you DO have the skin of a rhino there are going to be days when you're feeling vulnerable, pissed off, tired or fed up and there's that chink in your armour that the hurtful remark finds.

I need to start saying this 😎

It’s just something people say I wouldn’t work yourself up over it

I’m so sorry this happens to you. I’vea number of childless by choice friends and have seen how much it upsets them. It’s so fucking rude! Not to mention the two relatives I’ve got who haven’t been able to have children, it’s insensitive to others as well.
No advice, just hear to say yanbu

I’ve never actually been driven to say that while I’m very happy that other people enjoy having a partner and kids, for me it sounds like the stuff of nightmares. But I might have to one day.

Has any twit asked what people who don’t want kids are doing on Mumsnet yet?

Just wanted to say a quick thank you for all the comments.

And how accustomed I've become that I'm 'in the wrong' because I was nervous that I’d get (if any at all) not so nice comments.
What a relief.

There will always be some idiots who are too insecure or too unimaginative to understand that it’s ok for people to make different choices. And if anyone asks why you’re on MN, just shout BINGO at them.

Here’s a link to the childfree board: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/childfree-mumsnetters