I’ve had pretty constant ill health since the birth of my youngest 7 years ago. Lots of investigations but so far no diagnosis. A month ago I had two fits/ absence seizures and doctors, for a while, thought I was having a stroke. DH took me to the hospital and has been very supportive throughout. DH works away Mon-fri so I’m alone looking after 2 dc, one who has additional needs so it’s been a real struggle but we’ve managed to make it work.
we recently not the bullet and decided to use private medical care to try and get to the bottom of my ill health. After reviews my notes and having a telephone consultation the doctor wanted me to go to a private hospital in London for a review. This was yesterday. Before going up to London (3hr train trip) I had to get dc 2 to school. Just before I was about to leave dc1 messaged me to say he’d forgotten something he needed for school and could I drop it in on the way to the station. School is on the way, dc1 has only just started at secondary and is already struggling. I was getting stressed trying to get everything ready as it was pretty tight to get to the station even before adding in dropping books for dc1 at school.
I was trying to get everything together and dh suddenly starting yelling at me right in my face that I was an unfit mother, I was mental, I was not allowed to take the books to dc1 as he needed to learn and I was spoiling him by doing it for him. He’s never shouted at me in our relationship, not once, and I haven’t shouted at him either. This was all in front of dc2 who looked terrified.
I tried to reassure dc2 but he was still really shaken when I dropped him at school. I got to the appointment, they did some fairly invasive, traumatic procedures and took 18 vials of blood. Dr said that it might not be cancer and even if it was cancer then there’s lots of treatment options. I thought the appointment was more of an general health check so it was a huge shock to me.
When I got home dh wouldn’t even speak a word to me. Today he’s spent the day in his office with his door shut and still hasn’t uttered a word to me or acknowledged me in any way.
I don’t know where this has suddenly come from. The man yelling at me yesterday is so far from the placid, calm man I married I can’t get my head around it. I genuinely think he would have hit me if dc2 wasn’t there.I know he’s put up with a lot with my health but he hasn’t asked me how the appointment went or anything.
I don’t understand what’s happening. It’s like my life has changed in an instant. A few days ago we were planning a holiday together and now he’s pretending that I don’t exist.