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Original poster

Would you be mad at him or jealous?

51 replies

karlaka · 12/09/2023 09:29

The company where my partner works organized a summer party. They also allowed external guests to get tickets. Before the event, he mentioned that he didn't really want to take me along because there would only be people from work there. However, he also told me that his former intern would be attending (with him) because he had put her on the guest list. She is starting to work full-time at the company again in a few weeks.

They took a photo together at the event.

Afterwards, my boyfriend told me that there were hardly any colleagues from work there, but also many external guests and curious onlookers. Would you be upset and jealous? Somehow, I feel like he wanted to go there alone with the intern.

Or do you think I'm overreacting? My boyfriend is in his early 30s, and she is in her mid-20s.

OP posts:
Original poster
karlaka · 12/09/2023 10:34

What do you mean how he was acting at the time?

OP posts:
72EasyLessons · 12/09/2023 10:35

karlaka · 12/09/2023 10:25

it was a queer fashion show

Having a ‘queer fashion show’ for your company summer party is pretty niche.

Original poster
karlaka · 12/09/2023 10:37

so what? It was an event, not a summer party. he showed me pics afterwards

OP posts:
Newmum738 · 12/09/2023 10:39

I'd say that if you value your relationship then at this point, let it go but keep an eye incase anything feels off. It could be absolutely nothing so play it cool for now as long as it isn't part of a bigger thing that is concerning you.

72EasyLessons · 12/09/2023 10:40

karlaka · 12/09/2023 10:37

so what? It was an event, not a summer party. he showed me pics afterwards

You described it as a ‘summer party’ organised by your boyfriend’s company in your OP.

Cowlover89 · 12/09/2023 10:40

I would be pissed

Original poster
karlaka · 12/09/2023 10:41

yeah but in fact it was more of an event labeled as their summer party

OP posts:
Original poster
karlaka · 12/09/2023 10:45

would you be pissed?

OP posts:
becarefulofyourheart · 12/09/2023 10:53

Why’s the intern asking to meet you? In the unlikely event I was asking to meet an older colleague’s wife/girlfriend it would likely be so he’d leave me alone and not see me as a romantic possibility. So that sounds fishy. If it’s because you two have something in common, maybe it’s not, but the whole ‘you can’t come to the fashion show but everyone else can’ manoeuvre is also suspect. I wouldn’t be jealous or upset, I’d just be thinking is this the man for me? If you don’t trust him, why not just move on?

Original poster
karlaka · 12/09/2023 11:06

I don'y know why she wants to meet me, he was wondering the same. She also asked to see a picture. Maybe she's just curious?

OP posts:
Louise303 · 12/09/2023 11:18

Wanting to see a pic of you is very strange why does she want to know what you look like.

Original poster
karlaka · 12/09/2023 11:22

What do you think why?

OP posts:
becarefulofyourheart · 12/09/2023 11:26

Sure, could be, I am a bit older than your BF so maybe ‘let me see your girlfriend’s photo’ is a normal thing to ask in a professional setting nowadays, while also being a technique women use to repel unwanted interest. Maybe your BF and the intern are now friends. Maybe she’s just curious, as you say. Why is she curious would be my next question but her curiosity about his private life doesn’t necessarily mean he’s doing something wrong.

Also her being curious and them being mates doesn’t really explain why you couldn’t go to the fashion show, if anything, it would have been a nice chance to meet, but maybe it was all a big misunderstanding and he thought it would be weird to bring you then realised it would have been fine. It happens.

It’s really more important how you feel about him cos nobody here can tell you what actually went down. I’d be pissed if I didn’t trust him, unbothered if I did.

GoryBory · 12/09/2023 11:27

It’s a tricky one because I go out with my colleagues a lot but we rarely invite our partners.

We do sometimes invite other people that are known to the other colleagues but very rarely partners.

So him not inviting you isn’t an issue.

And inviting an intern isn’t an issue as I assume most people from work was invited.

But obviously no one can say if he fancies her or not.
Its possible that they just get on well.

pizzaHeart · 12/09/2023 11:34

DH has younger colleagues at work similar to interns none of them “asking” to meet me while they discuss work , DH might invite them for a work event for networking purposes but it won’t affect me coming to the event at all. The event is either open or just staff, if former staff is invited it goes through HR.

Your BF fed you a lot of b*t . He is interested in this young woman and doesn’t want you to witness this. She may be not so interested at him hence her mentioning you (to remind him about life realities ) or she is interested as well and playing a long game.

piscofrisco · 12/09/2023 11:41

Seems a bit off to me

SleepingStandingUp · 12/09/2023 11:47

karlaka · 12/09/2023 10:03

Yeah he invited her, becuase she was his intern and she knows all the people at the company

I think this is reasonable. She was his intern and now starting to work there. It makes perfect sense ofr her to be there and for him to sort that.

Did his work colleagues he met upstairs take their loved ones? Do you generally have a reason to assume he's a cheat? Would you care if she was a he or she was 50?

Original poster
karlaka · 12/09/2023 13:08

no his work colleagues did not bring their loved ones either, fair point

OP posts:
Saturdaygirl01 · 12/09/2023 13:16

Did you see a picture of her?

Original poster
karlaka · 12/09/2023 13:21

yes, i know what she looks like

OP posts:
jollyhorse · 12/09/2023 13:47

Is she very attractive? Maybe he thinks she is and thought you'd be uncomfortable about that.

Original poster
karlaka · 12/09/2023 13:47

She is pretty, but not extraordinary

OP posts:
Yettisrus29 · 12/09/2023 13:51

It's a work event and if no one else took their partners then I don't see the issue. The intern knew the others as she had worked there, it would make sense for her to be invited. Maybe he invited her as he thought it may be nice that she was included after all her work.

Original poster
karlaka · 12/09/2023 14:30

yeah no one took their partners that is true.. It's not like I was keen to go, but I found it weird that he didn't really want to take me along because there would only be people from work there

OP posts:
applesandmares · 12/09/2023 16:50

I think if other people from work weren't taking their partners then it doesn't seem out of the ordinary. I wouldn't want to bring my partner if colleagues weren't bringing theirs, but might well invite an old colleague who was returning if I thought it would be a nice re-introduction for them

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