Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Mixed signals

6 replies

Confusedhusband87 · 12/09/2023 08:13

Hello all,

First time posting , so I apologise for any rule infractions.

I’ll cut straight to the chase - around two years ago myself and my Bro in Law had a serious falling out in which he inferred that I was a bad father….of course, this was crossing the line , especially as he is not a father himself and is not married.
At this point I told him he was no longer welcome in our home if he felt he could insinuate such things.

the first year was awkward -if he knew I would be there he would take measures to avoid me (even bailed on Christmas Day) and we haven’t really spoken since.

Later on, for the sake of the very small family (it’s just my wife, her mum and brother) I let the ban slide but did not pay him any attention if he was in the house.

cut to my birthday, and I receive a moon pig parcel from him….I tried to message my thanks but have just been met with a wall of silence….my wife conveyed my thanks to him to which he replied to her “no problem”.

Based on this I feel it’s just another mind game, and I am on the verge of giving the gift back with a note to say that unless he is prepared to talk to me like an adult , I cannot accept any gifts, and if he could refrain from doing this again.

any advice would be much appreciated

OP posts:
Cinai · 12/09/2023 08:18

I would let it go. He gave you a gift, you said thanks, job done. Just move on with minimal level of contact for the sake of family peace, like you did before.

Epidote · 12/09/2023 09:12

Enjoy your gift and let him sulk if he wants. You already had a knowledge the present with a thank you.

Confusedhusband87 · 12/09/2023 09:17

I think that might be the most prudent approach - I can’t be bothered with the mental gymnastics anymore.

OP posts:
Naturevalley1 · 12/09/2023 11:59

I think the fact he gave you a gift means he wants peace and to move on Flowers

Confusedhusband87 · 12/09/2023 13:06

Yeah …albeit in a frustrating way….

see? This is why I came to mumsnet ….can always rely on some good advice!

OP posts:
Pinkbonbon · 12/09/2023 13:57

I'd let it go too.

I mean it might mean 'I acknowledge I've done wrong and I want a relationship but I'm not looking to talk to you yet'

Or it could be his way of being able to say 'I even sent him a birthday present but he's still being petty' tbf... but it's easy to get round that. Just you and your wife send him a birthday card each year. No need to be pally pally with him.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page