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Original poster

"Fine" weekend away?

19 replies

gezelligheid · 11/09/2023 08:04

My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years and we have a 14 month old baby. This weekend we went away for the night without the baby for the first time.

We went to York, visited York Minster, walked the city walls, went to the shambles, had some drinks, good food, a lot of sex. The weather was great too.

When I asked if he enjoyed the weekend he said it was fine ???? That just doesn't seem very enthusiastic to me. How would you feel if your partner said that? Am I just reading too much into it?

OP posts:

Deargodletitgo · 11/09/2023 08:05

Yes, yes you are

Original poster

gezelligheid · 11/09/2023 08:09

Thank you, I often get into my own head and read too much into things so I was unsure

OP posts:

DustyLee123 · 11/09/2023 08:10

I’d be disappointed by that

FineganFineagain · 11/09/2023 08:11

I'd feel a bit deflated by that word too if we'd just had what I though was a lovely weekend. Is he usually so non effusive?

MsDogLady · 11/09/2023 08:13

That was a lackluster response.

hev126 · 11/09/2023 08:34

I'd try not to read too much into the actual word "fine" in his response. How did he seem to be enjoying it while you were away? Was he happy, loving & enthusiastic? If so, nothing to worry about.

Or did you feel the need to ask if he enjoyed it cos it's not the vibe you got?

Personally if find asking (or being asked) this type of question really awkward as I feel put on the spot and an enthusiastic answer almost sounds fake.

My DP and I are more likely to either tell each other how nice a time we had naturally, or just be able to gauge by each others reaction/behaviour.

Did you ask because you were unsure he enjoyed it or were you looking for reassurance of how great it was?

saffronsoup · 11/09/2023 08:37

I dont think you can demand or expect a specifc reaction at any point in time when you ask him. Likely the two of you had talked as the weekend happened about enjoying it. So then at any point in time to go to him to tell you how it was is a litlte odd. You were both there experiencing it. You can talk about how you felt about it, but to expect exuberance to be produced when you ask a question is really insincere.

If while away you felt something was off, then you speak to that specific thing - not a general vague question about something you did together.

Original poster

gezelligheid · 11/09/2023 08:59

The vibe I got during the weekend was great, he was attentive and we had great conversations, lots of laughs and it just felt really lovely having that time together. It didn't feel uncomfortable or forced at any point.

I asked because I was just like ahh I had a lovely weekend, thank you. Did you? And he was like yeah it was fine but then I didn't want to be a nag and question the word fine and alter the vibe if you know what I mean 🙈 especially since it'd been a really nice time

OP posts:

C1N1C · 11/09/2023 09:06

I'm on the fence with this one...

It sounds like a nice day, but who booked the hotel, paid for stuff, and drove?

Yes, it sounds like a nice day out, but I wouldn't say it's going to be 'up there' with actual holidays, so 'fine' seems appropriate.

How would you have described it? Also, maybe he just has something on his mind? Even the best intention trip can be a chore if you're distracted and/or tired.

Original poster

gezelligheid · 11/09/2023 09:43

He paid for everything and we got the train. I would have described it as nice or lovely, though tbh now you mention it I don't know how much different that is to "fine" tbh

OP posts:

yellowsmileyface · 11/09/2023 09:44

It does seem like an unenthusiastic response, but if the vibe over the weekend was good I wouldn't worry too much about it.

Maybe it's just a post-getaway comedown of returning to real life, getting back to work etc. Maybe he was just tired when he said it.

LunaNorth · 11/09/2023 09:50

This is the sort of thing that used to upset me, until I learned not to engage with subtext.

Life is much simpler when you take people’s words at face value.

He enjoyed the weekend, it didn’t blow him away. It was ‘fine’.

You thought it was ‘lovely.’

Everyone’s happy.

SleepingStandingUp · 11/09/2023 09:51

C1N1C · 11/09/2023 09:06

I'm on the fence with this one...

It sounds like a nice day, but who booked the hotel, paid for stuff, and drove?

Yes, it sounds like a nice day out, but I wouldn't say it's going to be 'up there' with actual holidays, so 'fine' seems appropriate.

How would you have described it? Also, maybe he just has something on his mind? Even the best intention trip can be a chore if you're distracted and/or tired.

First might away with the baby and lots of sex
I'd expect more than an ambivalent answer tbf.

SleepingStandingUp · 11/09/2023 09:52

gezelligheid · 11/09/2023 09:43

He paid for everything and we got the train. I would have described it as nice or lovely, though tbh now you mention it I don't know how much different that is to "fine" tbh

I'd over think it too, and I'd probably jokingly comment on the "fine" but I think you need to try not to. Actions speak louder than words

felisha54 · 11/09/2023 09:53

Saying 'fine' is the same as saying 'adequate'. I'd be annoyed if dh said that about a weekend away spent only with me.

FineganFineagain · 11/09/2023 09:55

Fine is a neutral word - not good, not bad, fine. Like when you're given a medical procedure and the medic asks if it's uncomfortable "it's fine", ie you'd rather not be going through it but it's bearable 😄

cruffinsmuffin · 11/09/2023 09:59

I think fine is a neutral word! I'd put it in the same category as lovely - which is a bit wishy washy.

They say actions speak louder than words, he paid for everything you had great fun and you both have an incredible time, there's no need to start reading into the subtext of which word he used to describe it!

My mum hates certain words, it drives me bonkers. If she asks a question and anyone responds with a word she deems inadequate, she'll quiz the person until they use one she thinks is satisfactory - it's so annoying and tbh now we use words she hates on purpose 😂 don't stray down that path!

FictionalCharacter · 11/09/2023 10:03

felisha54 · 11/09/2023 09:53

Saying 'fine' is the same as saying 'adequate'. I'd be annoyed if dh said that about a weekend away spent only with me.

This is how I'd see it too. "Fine" means good enough, not great or lovely.

C1N1C · 11/09/2023 10:04

SleepingStandingUp · 11/09/2023 09:51

First might away with the baby and lots of sex
I'd expect more than an ambivalent answer tbf.

Show quote history

True... but I'm going to flip this... if a man came in here and said they went for a walk around town and they had lots of sex, she should be grateful, he'd be slammed :)

I know that's not what happened, but still... sex should be mutual and not something for one to be appreciative of.

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