Hello, i wanted to give an update on my situation and hope to be able to read some comments to make me snap out of my emotional mess /advice.
I'm going through a divorce while DH is still living in the house. He goes through phases of ignoring me or making very small conversations about our DD (19).
He had an EA almost 3 yrs ago with a female 30 yrs younger than him who worked in the eastern european office - they have never met. The EA lasted almost 2 yrs and he blames me for it ending (i used to talk to the OW..she used to beg me to not leave him but she would keep talking to him - i spent too much time telling her to leave him alone when i should have let him go).
The divorce dragged on because he ignored solicitor letters and until he had to respond.
During the last 6 months, my father passed away, i was diagnosed with womb cancer and am now recovering from a hystercomy. He has given me no more than 1% support during all this, when i came out of hospital, i was told 6-8 weeks recovery..after 2 days odmf being at home, i had to make my own meals because he didnt speak to me for 3 days. He told oue DD he would look after me becausw she was abroad.
Im 5 weeks post operation and am moving around fine and can cook/clean for myself.
We've tried to remain civil towards each other over the last few months as DD is going to Uni next week.
We argue over the divorce settlememt and he keeps.callimg me a golddigger so i would like to ask you all to tell.me if i am..
We have been married 27 yrs, he purchased the house 8 years before we married. When i moved in, i said we should split all the bills..incl the.mortgage 50-50. He said no, i've been paying it, you pay for everything else. I paid for food shopping, council tax, gas, electric, broadband, landline, Sky TV, making the house into a home (bedding, master bed, etc 90% of the contenys of the house has been paid by me) when DD was born, i paid nursery fees, and then school fees, uniform, kids play dates, after school clubs etc. When DD was born, i took 7 months maternity leave and then dropped to a 4 day week and a few years later to a 3 day week. We have had 2 big house modernisations during my 27yrs here, and the first one i contributed to a lot (before DD was born) and the last one (9 yrs ago) we took out a loan which he paid back. We also purchased a flat in 2008 which jas been rented out and managed by DH - the money to pay for this was raised on our home and the rent was to help towards the increased.mortgage payments.
I was made redundant 11 years ago amd have since worked freelance from hom earning less money but i was able to cover DD school holidays and sick days.
I have said i want to live in the family home, and DD wants to be here when she comes back from Uni, he does not want me to buy him out (because he does not trust me) but wants to keep the home and jointly owned by both of us and he wants 100% of the money from selling the flat, he will pay off the mortgage and wants the balance to buy himself a flat. He wants notning else from me. Is this fair? I say no because he will have 1.5 properties and i will have half of the marital home. Am i a golddigger??