Need to leave, can't. Yet.

[AtLeastImTrying]

Met H 9 years ago.
Warned him from the outset I was ill.

In this case ill means odd accidents, unexplained collapses and similar.

The GPs and consultants have taken this long to diagnose me, got diagnosis in March '22.
Covid delayed diagnosis (not blaming, NHS had to do that instead).
Things like social care and financial support are beginning to be put in place.

Despite my better judgment, I agreed to marry H 7 years ago. Moved into his house, on the condition we would move asap.
That was nearly 8 years ago.

I was still working until 4 years ago.

He said he realised and understood my disability.

I'm effectively housebound, have no money of my own, this house has never felt like mine.

Once my money is sorted I would like to move out. I can't move yet, I have no money of my own.
Every day I don't end my life is a win. Every day I keep going is a win, I'm running out of reasons to stay.

Meant to say; other than medical appointments I haven't left the house in over 10 months.

If you are being accessed for social care etc, can you tell them now that you need to live apart, it is obviously effecting your mental health. Can I ask why you need to leave ? Not being nosy but I've also been diagnosed with a life limiting illness and views on present and future plans can be a bit odd for a while.

Sure.
H is never outright nasty to me and he definitely does not want us to split up.

However, for years now he has been treating me in a way way that can best be described as meh.
H treats me as though I am an inconvenience, something to be endured. I'm losing my words.
Emotionally he neglects me.
Barely tolerates me.
He ignores my wishes, a good example is the promise 7 years ago that we would move house, that tomorrow never comes.
He has complete control of everything.

I moved into the spare room last year, he complained that he was lonely, that things would change.
I moved back into this house and they didn't.

@nixnjj I am so sorry to read that. This is a stupid thing to say, my brain isn't very good. I hope you are ok? Safe?

That should say I moved back into this bedroom.

@AtLeastImTrying Have you applied for PIP ? Do you mind if I message you as I'm quite private about my situation but do think we face similar issues but medications makes my brain struggle too, so difficult to say too much in public

You are welcome to message me.

I'm going to leave this thread up because I still need help and it might help someone else.

Are there any types of community where I could buy a house of my own, but be in a community with others as neighbours who also sometimes need support?
Maybe something where a carer lives nearby?

I can't really offer much advice here but have you tried approaching some charities to get some advice? Some of these might help - https://iamlip.com/help-guides/registered-charities-that-could-help-you/ they might be able to point you in the right direction of what to do. Applying for PIP would also really be good if you can. Wishing you the best!