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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I am confused

17 replies

9928882i · 10/09/2023 23:25

I, 25F need an advice

What should I do ?

I am so confused. I am 25F. I started dating a man 34M (i'll call him K), but he had a gf and a baby. At the beginning he told me that the things between them don't work from about 2 years. We got in some sort of relationship, but i couldn't stand the situation. A few times i told him that i cannot be the other one for too long, he then comes back to me, says he has been talking to her and a few days later it is the same. Now i decided to end up things, for my own peace of mind. I was at a family event and there I met a man(S), which i haven't seen 2 years, i really liked him then, but i was in a relationship. This time i decided to "go with the flow" so we kissed a few times, we had really fun time. But I had to come back to my city. Then I told K, that i want to take some time, because at work happened something too, that i can't think clearly, then K told me that he ended things finally with his girlfriend . I don't know if it's true. I don't know what to do. I have feelings for him, but I am afraid that it is too soon to be in serious relationship with me, that he will miss her, and also i am worried about the other man, because apparently we both like each other. But my feelings for K are way more deep. I don't know if it's that i am being myself with him, not worrying how do i look or if i say something stupid, we have fun all the time. But also, he is a very negative-thinking person. That impacts me. So what do i have to do ? P.s. Sorry for my English, not my first language.

OP posts:
LusaBatoosa · 11/09/2023 00:08

Are you scared of being single? As otherwise why would you:

  • Waste your time on a ‘sort of relationship’ with a man who had partner AND A CHILD.
  • As soon as you break up with him, immediately glom onto and kiss another man.
  • Now think you have to choose between them - taking some time to figure yourself out doesn’t seem to have even occurred to you as an option.
junebirthdaygirl · 11/09/2023 00:42

Well K was cheating on his gf so is likely to do that to you. Don't imagine things will be different as he is that kind of character. I would not have anything to do with him as its possibly the not knowing that has made him appear more desirable.
Either take a man break or see how things develop with the second guy who has less baggage..l presume

TheWayofBeing · 11/09/2023 02:09

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TheWayofBeing · 11/09/2023 02:11

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TheWayofBeing · 11/09/2023 02:13

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TheWayofBeing · 11/09/2023 02:14

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TheWayofBeing · 11/09/2023 02:14

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TheWayofBeing · 11/09/2023 02:16

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Sorchamarie · 11/09/2023 02:16

I mean this kindly when I strongly suggest staying single and doing some work on your self esteem if you think a lying cheat of a man is what you deserve.

TheWayofBeing · 11/09/2023 02:17

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TheWayofBeing · 11/09/2023 02:18

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TheWayofBeing · 11/09/2023 02:18

Is he rich? Yeah

Pinkbonbon · 11/09/2023 02:20

What on earth are you doing!

Never date men who have girlfriends. If they'll cheat on her, they'll cheat on you.
Plus, it's immoral. People we date should bring out the best in us. Not the worst.

Block him.
Be single and learn to love yourself. Because if you even remotely liked you, you'd never have dated him in the first place.

NiteWotcha · 11/09/2023 02:22

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Can you stop with the personal attacks?
OP is not reporting them - I’m doing my job and hiding them

Aquamarine1029 · 11/09/2023 02:41

Why would you waste time with a cheater, op? Is this the kind of man you want? Do better.

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 11/09/2023 02:55

Therapy, not men, is the answer.

Aliceinunderland · 11/09/2023 03:24

K is not good for you. He had a family and he will be around his girlfriend for a long time even if they are not together. Look how easily he left his child although I wouldn't believe he has actually left. You would never be able to trust him and he would very likely leave you and any children you have in the future.
Forget the two men. What is important to you in a partner? Write down a list of qualities that you want in a boyfriend and don't settle until you meet someone who matches what you want.

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