Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Marital problems

7 replies

Darceybeau · 10/09/2023 21:14

Long term poster but name changed for this post.
Been with DH for 25 years married 15. We have had put up and downs over the years but mostly good. We have a good life together. Last few months not great he’s been distant and I suspected him cheating he denied it but I’m not convinced. Anyway sex life has recently dwindled and is very boring. Last three times he didn’t ejaculate and although I was upset I brushed over it. He isn’t a very loving person hardly any physical affect eg kiss before work etc. It feels more like room mates than anything. I’ve tried to come on to him a few times and he didn’t respond. I’ve told him I’m not putting in the effort anymore if he’s not. I just feel like it is convenient for him the marriage as he literally goes to work and comes home. I deal with everything and have a full time job. I just feel like I if I bring it up it will turn into an argument, I just feel like I can’t talk to him about it and I can’t take it anymore.

OP posts:
Darceybeau · 15/09/2023 16:53

Just wanted to bump this post.

OP posts:
Charlingspont · 15/09/2023 16:55

Sorry to hear this. It sounds dull and upsetting. Do you have children?

Darceybeau · 15/09/2023 20:30

@Charlingspont - No children.

OP posts:
EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 15/09/2023 20:34

I deal with everything and have a full time job

How did you get into that situation?

I mean I get why he wants to stay married - he's got a free housekeeper, a veneer of respectability, and he's probably getting his sex needs met elsewhere.

But what's in it for you?

olderbutwiser · 15/09/2023 20:35

Exactly what @EvenMoreFuriousVexation said - why do you want to stay married to him? How would you feel if he did have an affair?

Charlingspont · 15/09/2023 20:46

How old are you both, if you don't mind me asking? His ejaculation problems could be age related, and if he's having problems, it's like a vicious circle - he has a problem, gets a bit anxious, which causes the same problem next time, which then puts him off trying again.

RandomForest · 15/09/2023 21:02

Something's shifted and you can feel it.

The time has come to find out.

I hope it's not an ow.

But you are definitely doing too much in the meantime, so basically he sounds like he's withdrawn his love and affection, then I suggest you withdraw some of the things which make his life run smoothly.

If only one person is trying it's soul destroying.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread