Do I really want to get back with my ex.. or am I just scared ?

[username0202]

I no this sounds really sad. Ex Partner
Of 3 Years I suspected was using drugs again which he swore blind he wasn't after I found some suspicious txsts on his phone saying he owed money to a mate about it.

He says he hasn't used after two years when I caught him the first time but he wouldn't show me his bank account to prove he had money when the messages said he was broke after spending on drugs. So I broke up with him as I said I didn't trust him. I cut him off and deleted his number.

Fast forward a Few months, I've hardly thought much about him, I've been doing ok, and thought I couldn't have been real love as I wasn't heart broken etc
I had a brief kiss and fumble with an old flame this weekend not full s*x after getting very drunk. I then woke up and felt yes extremely hungover but also I felt so guilty even though I'm single.

Soon I couldn't stand feeling anymore guilty weirdly so I unblocked him rang him and told him I felt guilty as I had done something with another man. And he said it's ok he doesn't care he still loves me and can I meet
With him as he thinks I obviously love him as I felt bad and I should hear him out!!
I know I'm vulnerable and hungover aswell so I'm not sure whether I do actually want to go back as I'm scared of being alone xx

Only you can decide, OP, but it sounds like your ex really didn't add anything to your life, and caused you stress. There's no reason to think that will change IMO

You should be alone for the time being and work on your self esteem rather than go back to a liar and drug taker.

Get some help with this, speak to someone maybe women’s aid or a counsellor to try and pick apart why you would put yourself in a position like this. Good luck.

Look at it from his side. An ex girlfriend phones him out of the blue, confesses to feeling guilty and arranges to meet.

Honestly, it's a gift for an abusive or dishonest man. Why would you go? You didn't even miss him. He's an ex for a reason.

No I wouldn't go, I'd spend the time broadening my social circle, building my confidence and learning to demand better treatment from a partner.

This. Once you have you won't compromise yourself or your boundaries for mediocre/crap men.

You are all correct Thankyou x.