Dealing With Child Going To Uni

[Sunnydays1974]

So my DD is off to uni next weekend.

Luckily it's only around 180miles away but I'm really struggling, whilst also excited for her, that she'll now longer be around day to day.

What tips/advice do fellow parents have for dealing with what I can see an immediate hole and potential loneliness once she's gone?

Its time for you to feel good. You have successfully raised a child who is confident enough to go off and be independent. Now its her time to spread her wings and your time to yourself to enjoy.

On a practical level, is this an opportunity for you to pick up any hobbies, interests or activities that got dropped or put off when she was younger?

On the emotional side it’s hard to think of much to say that doesn’t sound trite, but I do like;

”Ships are safest when they are in the harbour

But this is not what we build ships for.”

You’ve prepared for her to face the world, and as hard as it is when it happens, this was a large part of what that work was for.

You want her to be happy and go off and spread her wings, that she's doing. Well done. You adjust and carry on.

It's just a heartbeat until grandchildren tend to arrive so get moving and travelling and into hobbies for you now!

I found it a lot easier with a dog in tow - it also made the DC want to come home, to see the dog!

”Ships are safest when they are in the harbour

But this is not what we build ships for.”

I love this!

Don't be too hard on yourself. You've done a great job in getting her this far. Just try and be careful that you don't load onto her and make her feel guilty for leaving you. Easier said than done. But do it we must.
Plenty of suggestions on this thread but just know you will cry, you will miss her, life will be strange. It will be ok. Just not today or tomorrow.

It can be a lovely time, when you build a new relationship with your child, based more on two adults than parent / child (although they might still need you as their parent for a good while yet).

You miss them, but it's part of growing up, and it's over so quickly, like all the other stages. Enjoy it with them (from a distance!)

I actually found it much easier than I thought I would.
It’s lovely to be able to text your adult dd and ask her about her subjects, her friends, what are plans are on a Wednesday night, hearing her speak excitedly or passionately about a new interest… it’s like having a new friend.

Be proud of her and be kind to yourself X

I feel for you because this is my biggest dread. I;m a single parent of 2 boys and although the youngest is only 10, my oldest may only be here another couple of years (if he goes off to Uni) and it literally cripples me. Its very conflicting too because you want them to go off and be independent and thrive too.
I would just try to keep yourself as busy as possible. Lean on other family and friends as much as you can. It probably won't be as bad as you imagine and you have the opportunity to go and visit her too.