Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Initial Financial cost of leaving

30 replies

HappyCamperTent · 10/09/2023 08:35

I work but I would struggle to afford the costs of running a house alone.

Do people apply for universal credit as a single person before they are officially single?… To help with the initial financial cost of leaving?

OP posts:
Specso · 10/09/2023 12:48

What are your circumstances? Shared mortgage, renting?

Who is moving out, you or them?

Fleur02 · 10/09/2023 12:52

No, to apply as though single when you are not would be fraud.

HappyCamperTent · 10/09/2023 14:34

How are you supposed to afford to leave then?

It’s dh house but we’re married. I am initiating it so would be leaving to go in to rented. Dc will stay with dh until family house sells.

I can’t afford to move out though!

OP posts:
Babyroobs · 10/09/2023 14:41

You can claim as single if everything is separated, so you ahve separate finances, don't do any days out , holidays etc together, separate bedrooms etc. You could be asked to evidence this if needed if you are going to claim as single. Do you work ? are you sure you will even qualify for UC if your child is not even going to be living with you initially. I'm just asking as most of the UC is only paid if you ahve dc on your claim. You may get a small amount if on a low income and renting but if only you living there you would only get a one bedroom lha rate so maybe not much help towards private rent anyway unless you are looking at council/ HA rent??

Fleur02 · 10/09/2023 14:43

HappyCamperTent · 10/09/2023 14:34

How are you supposed to afford to leave then?

It’s dh house but we’re married. I am initiating it so would be leaving to go in to rented. Dc will stay with dh until family house sells.

I can’t afford to move out though!

What do you mean by “supposed to”? The state doesn’t make provisions for competent, solvent healthy adults who want to split up, so there’s no “supposed to” about it.

Thingsthatgo · 10/09/2023 14:47

Maybe you could move into a house share in the short term.

Fleur02 · 10/09/2023 14:49

Thingsthatgo · 10/09/2023 14:47

Maybe you could move into a house share in the short term.

House share, sofa surf, caravan park, guest house, friend’s spare room.

There are myriad options while someone gets back on their feet.

Chowtime · 10/09/2023 14:53

I don't think you'd be entitled to any UC if you're working full time.

Babyroobs · 10/09/2023 14:54

Babyroobs · 10/09/2023 14:41

You can claim as single if everything is separated, so you ahve separate finances, don't do any days out , holidays etc together, separate bedrooms etc. You could be asked to evidence this if needed if you are going to claim as single. Do you work ? are you sure you will even qualify for UC if your child is not even going to be living with you initially. I'm just asking as most of the UC is only paid if you ahve dc on your claim. You may get a small amount if on a low income and renting but if only you living there you would only get a one bedroom lha rate so maybe not much help towards private rent anyway unless you are looking at council/ HA rent??

Sorry just seen that you do work. I doubt you would qualify for UC with no kids on the claim unless income pretty low and rent high. Use one of the calculators putting in the one bedroom local housing allowance. They won't give you the 2 bed local housing allowance if no kids living with you for the majority of the time. As other have said look at staying with relatives/ room share etc initially until you can build up some savings enough for you to rent somewhere for your kids to come and live with you also. You need to also bear in mind your ex could make a child maintenance claim against you. I would be careful how you proceed, especially as houses can take some time to sell at the moment.

HappyCamperTent · 10/09/2023 14:59

Fleur02 · 10/09/2023 14:43

What do you mean by “supposed to”? The state doesn’t make provisions for competent, solvent healthy adults who want to split up, so there’s no “supposed to” about it.

But it makes provisions for many other healthy single parents?

OP posts:
TeenagersAngst · 10/09/2023 15:01

So by that logic, if you qualify for UC, you'll get it. If you don't, you won't.

TeenagersAngst · 10/09/2023 15:02

And the state doesn't really want everyone divorcing for a range of reasons, so it's unlikely they're going to specifically fund it.

Fleur02 · 10/09/2023 15:02

HappyCamperTent · 10/09/2023 14:59

But it makes provisions for many other healthy single parents?

Not ahead of time.

HappyCamperTent · 10/09/2023 15:03

Fleur02 · 10/09/2023 14:49

House share, sofa surf, caravan park, guest house, friend’s spare room.

There are myriad options while someone gets back on their feet.

I don’t know how long it’ll take to sort out finances/house and stuff. Not sure it’d be fair on anyone to crash/sofa surf.

It might be long term if we decide that kids stay in the family home until grown.

I’ve never been through this before so figuring it out but seem to have stumbled at the financial part

OP posts:
Babyroobs · 10/09/2023 15:04

HappyCamperTent · 10/09/2023 14:59

But it makes provisions for many other healthy single parents?

If they ahve their kids living with them. UC for a single person is very dire if they have no earnings and if they do have earnings they are not likely to qualify for much. And if they work part time would be expected to look for full time hours if no kids on their claim.

Babyroobs · 10/09/2023 15:05

HappyCamperTent · 10/09/2023 15:03

I don’t know how long it’ll take to sort out finances/house and stuff. Not sure it’d be fair on anyone to crash/sofa surf.

It might be long term if we decide that kids stay in the family home until grown.

I’ve never been through this before so figuring it out but seem to have stumbled at the financial part

If likely to be long term your best bet is probably a HA flat suitable for a single person, or a house share. Private rent may be out of your reach.

Fleur02 · 10/09/2023 15:06

HappyCamperTent · 10/09/2023 15:03

I don’t know how long it’ll take to sort out finances/house and stuff. Not sure it’d be fair on anyone to crash/sofa surf.

It might be long term if we decide that kids stay in the family home until grown.

I’ve never been through this before so figuring it out but seem to have stumbled at the financial part

Then you’ll need to save up, stay, or find another option.

The state is not going to help you out while you are comfortably off, housed, and in a couple.

HappyCamperTent · 10/09/2023 15:09

Babyroobs · 10/09/2023 15:04

If they ahve their kids living with them. UC for a single person is very dire if they have no earnings and if they do have earnings they are not likely to qualify for much. And if they work part time would be expected to look for full time hours if no kids on their claim.

I don’t know for sure whether the kids will live with me. Likely be 50:50.

I work full time

OP posts:
lizzy8230 · 10/09/2023 15:09

I don't understand the 'how are you supposed to...' either.

If you buy something which you can only afford as a joint purchase, then it's obvious that if you decide to separate, you're not going to be able to afford the same standard of living.

Dh and I bought our house together. We couldn't have done it without our combined salaries so if we split up, then we would both need to drastically scale back our lifestyles. Maybe rent, certainly live somewhere smaller, cheaper area etc.

HappyCamperTent · 10/09/2023 15:11

lizzy8230 · 10/09/2023 15:09

I don't understand the 'how are you supposed to...' either.

If you buy something which you can only afford as a joint purchase, then it's obvious that if you decide to separate, you're not going to be able to afford the same standard of living.

Dh and I bought our house together. We couldn't have done it without our combined salaries so if we split up, then we would both need to drastically scale back our lifestyles. Maybe rent, certainly live somewhere smaller, cheaper area etc.

It would just be until we potentially… most likely sell the family home.

It’s for the initial leap.

I genuinely don’t know how to leave! I can’t afford it. I have no family locally but work is here.

OP posts:
onestepfromgrace · 10/09/2023 15:11

You won’t be a single parent for UC though, you will be a single person working. Your DH will be the single parent as he has the children. If you have the child benefit he may well need to claim it.

UC also depends on your age, area and income.

HappyCamperTent · 10/09/2023 15:12

onestepfromgrace · 10/09/2023 15:11

You won’t be a single parent for UC though, you will be a single person working. Your DH will be the single parent as he has the children. If you have the child benefit he may well need to claim it.

UC also depends on your age, area and income.

Most likely be 50:50

OP posts:
Babyroobs · 10/09/2023 15:13

HappyCamperTent · 10/09/2023 15:09

I don’t know for sure whether the kids will live with me. Likely be 50:50.

I work full time

Ok well you will likely get UC then but when you get half the equity from the house as I imagine you will then if that is over 16k Uc would stop unless you are putting it into another property. I don't honestly know whether Uc would consider you to own half a house now if it's in his name solely, I'm guessing not.

Fleur02 · 10/09/2023 15:16

HappyCamperTent · 10/09/2023 15:11

It would just be until we potentially… most likely sell the family home.

It’s for the initial leap.

I genuinely don’t know how to leave! I can’t afford it. I have no family locally but work is here.

Then stay there until you sell, or move into something very cheap such as a bed sit until the sale.

This is something that you need to sort out and find yourself, there’s no state program for people who want to split up.

This is exactly the sort of thing that your investments and savings are for; money put away in case of need.

How much do you have, and what do you need to pay for?

onestepfromgrace · 10/09/2023 15:18

HappyCamperTent · 10/09/2023 15:12

Most likely be 50:50

That’s not what you said though. If it is 50:50 you will need to choose which one has main responsibility. UC doesn’t split the payments.

Swipe left for the next trending thread