Completely stuck in marriage

[NoMoreNonsense84]

Hi all, long time lurker first time poster.

I've been married for 10 years. First 5 were great, DH was attentive, engaged, caring and loved spending time with us all. Fast forward 5 years and DH has been 'working away' he is the complete opposite to how he was, he is hot headed, he doesn't talk/share information, he thinks of himself as the breadwinner and alpha male. I am a SAHM and sacrificied a good career to raise our two DC. I am so unhappy but have no means to leave.

He gaslights me, alot, he calls our eldest awful names in temper and I just want to run but I feel like I cant. I feel so stuck with no financial independence, I feel totally reliant on him. I am unhappy, and I want to raise my children to understand what healthy relationships are. Our marriage is not healthy.

Does anybody have experience of leaving someone who is abusive and in control? I feel so stuck.

Thank you for reading.

This sounds really hard. Im not going to suggest you talk to him as you probably wouldn't be posting this if you hadn't already tried. Firstly, you are not trapped, there is a way out and it starts by 'getting your ducks in a row' as MN says. This means starting to make a plan to leave and research your options.

Can you start putting small amounts of money away?
What benefits are you entitled to?
Do you own or rent your house? If owned, 50% is considered yours. If rented, who is on the contract?
What childcare options are available to you?
Update your CV