my mum's an alcoholic

[monkeyfeet]

Have always been close to my mum but since i had my dd we have grown apart. My dad was extremely abusive and the affect it has is that she can't really cope with anything, she is a bag of nerves. I have always tried to defend her and look after her but i just can't anymore. When i was pregnant i thought she would be so happy, she wasn't she was scared and when dd was born she didn't want to hold her and couldn't wait to get away. I got pnd and couldnt cope and i think that her rejection really didnt help. She now rings me only when she is down and more often than not drunk. I do feel much better now and have a fantastic dh who is wonderful and kind and understanding but I don't want the problems of my past and my mums to mark my dd. Can the cycle of abuse ever be stopped

Hello Monkeyfeet.
It's very hard I know this too well. Alcoholics are very focussed on themselves much of the time and it feels like they are not truly listening to you when you talk about your feelings or problems etc.
I am in the situation where both my parents are alcoholics and even to family members we had what seemed to be a good family life...yet I do remember rough times.
I have had some good advice from a friend. She told me you get to a stage where you realise you can only do what you can do, and the rest is completely beyond your control. Don't beat yourself up - you can't change them - look after yourself and dh etc - I am trying not to get too het up about stuff I can't mend. It just destroys you. xxx

thats really good advice i think i need to keep telling myself that and keep my dd away from the situation until something happens rather than trying to pre-empt anything

Is she still with your dad and is he still abusive?