Please help me gain perspective. I married my husband 12 years ago. We have a 10 year old and a 7 year old. We are from mixed cultures. However when I met him he said he didn't follow his culture and was very westernised. On our second date he asked me if I had a one night stand before. I said no as we had only known each other 2 days. I had a one night stand 4 years before I met him with someone i worked with. After 4 years of being together and when I was pregnant with our first child he found out I lied. For the last 8 years I have suffered every type of abuse (apart from sexual) because if my lie. I've ruined his life, I'm a bitch. I get spat at, hit, called every name etc because of the trauma I've caused him anout my lie. Now I accept I should not have lied but it was in my past I honestly did not mean to hurt him. Hes now left again to go out with friends after a big row, one sided from him. I can't take this much more I'm really not a bad person. He is ten years younger then me and part of me feels this is just an excuse as he doesn't want the life he has anymore.