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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Clingy friend

2 replies

gentlemum · 09/09/2023 17:57

I've got an 18 month old child and a few months ago I became friends with another mum from one of the baby classes. Everything was fine for a while but as time has gone on she's become quite needy and clingy and making me feel uncomfortable.

I see her once a week at a playgroup which is more than I see most of my other friends plus I work part time (she doesn't work or have other friends) but in addition she asks to see me so frequently including at weekends which to me is family time. She says things often like 'I'm going to the park, do you want to come' or similar and when I say no because I'm busy and ask her how it was she always says she didn't go (to me it's implying because I didn't go with her). She comes across a little obsessed with my child, often stroking his hair, picking him up when I turn away to get something out of the bag and offering to babysit when I don't actually need anyone to babysit. There's more to it all, but without going into loads of detail and making this post even longer, essentially she's very clingy and needy, and making me feel quite uncomfortable. I don't know if it's just because she's lonely or it's cultural differences, but it's just getting a bit weird.

What do I do? We go to the same group so I'm not going to not see her at all but I have been trying to distance myself from her a bit. Or am I just being unfair?

OP posts:
TiptoeThroughTheToadstools · 09/09/2023 18:25

Maybe just say to her that your life is very busy and all you can really spare is the time you take your DC to the group. You could also enquire less about her life via text. For example, when you said you couldn't go to the park, don't follow it up with questions for her to text you back. Her text was a very obvious guilt trip to make you spend time with her, not malicious, maybe not even on purpose, but that's what it was. She sounds very lonely, and maybe felt that she really clicked with you. If you don't feel the same, that's fine, but I think you should make your position clear to her.

mummummummummummummmmmmy · 09/09/2023 18:44

I had exactly this. Wonder if it's the same woman 😆
Anyway, I just became extremely busy and obsessed with routine and schedules. I've almost just about shaken her off. You have to stay vigilant as she'll keep trying to slip back in.

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