Hey all.
I'm experiencing what seems to be retroactive jealousy.
Basic background.
The person I have children with and I are separated.
This person with help allot of important info just to get a relatio ship with me.
First I wasn't told about the person was married ( long separated ) was only I formed ( even though I asked prior ) while expecting our first.
Allot of people don't understand why I get so upset with the number of sexual partners often being one night stands.
Her preference was also lied to me. And after years I kept getting different answers.
Amd now I find the fact that my now partner lied to about number of sexual partners. And because I got lies about detials I'm e,pected to be ok with it.
I never slept about. And still know I'm getting a lie and not the truth. This has now made me believe anyone I would meet is going to lie about this. I was brought up to think that we shouldn't be sleeping about.
And I also feel this person has had better but as they've aged that they're just settling for ' okay' - ' it does, so I'm happy'
My thinking and it feels pretty much hard wired in my brain now that sod that! Why should I have not been out and done all that. And be a second best because they can't have the best. And be a settled for person. Which it really is. Because anyone would choose the best if they could.
I dont want to feel this way. But I can't see how my opinion could change in the above feeling.
And I feel justified in feeling this way. Sometimes I actually just want to sod them off and mess about and lie back just for being lied to now.
Even though its their past. I'm still being lied to.
Other things have happened too.
While on a break I was told they had messaged from singles but claims they never got messages while together.
Has anyone had this experience?
Or done the same to get a relationship.
I'd rather be told yp front the blunt truth. I'm sure I'd feel better. But now seems like I'll never know. And I can't get it from my head and this keeps me going in a loop at times.
What can I do?