Men with attractive girlfriends, how do you deal with the attention she gets?

[unknownguy]

So let me say that my girlfriend is very attractive. She gets hit on by guys every time she goes out with her girlfriends. We've been dating for two years now and I battle with finding the attention she gets annoying while it also makes me appreciate what I have.

My girlfriend is taking a trip to Vegas for the first time with her girlfriends and the dresses she's shown me will turn heads. I'm feeling kind of insecure about this trip - not because I don't trust her, but I just don't trust all the random guys that could be approaching her at pool parties, clubs, bars etc.
I'm trying to be level headed about this because I know she's dressing up cause she's on vacation and with her girlfriends and they'll be going out to restaurants/bars/clubs - it's what you do, but her being in Vegas is kind of throwing me off.

How do you guys deal with the attention your significant other gets?

I don't think you'll get that many repossess from men on MUMSnet.. maybe a few but the worst saying is "I trust her but I don't trust others"

If you truly trusted her it wouldn't matter about others so actually, you don't trust her 🤷🏻‍♀️ maybe you should until she gives you a reason not to.

You have to be secure in your relationship and feelings for each other to deal with it. You're saying you're worried about trusting the guys approaching her but it's nothing to do with them, they are taking a chance, it's up to your partner to turn them down or not engage so it's trusting her is your issue. How does she respond to the attention? I think that might be where your insecurity could come from if she is too engaging with the guys and attention

So very bizarre you thought mumsnet might be best placed to answer. Given the demographic is overwhelmingly female.

Is your girlfriend Samantha Brick?

.

She politely shuts it down (I've witnessed it). I trust her completely.

Sorry but I always find the ‘I trust her but not the others’ line really silly. You’re not supposed to trust strangers, no one does. It’s enough to trust that she will handle any attention she gets the right way.

Try Dadsnet?

We do have male posters here, but seems a strange choice to ask this on Mumsnet.

You feel what you feel, but you need to not put it on your girlfriend in any way. This is your emotional labour to deal with, not hers.

So what you do is, sit with your feelings and let them pass.

If you don't trust your girlfriend or are otherwise going to make her miserable with your jealousy, then you should break up with her and get therapy.

You trust her... but not the people you don't know that might or might not approach her.
If you truly trusted her, you wouldn't be worried if she was off on an all expenses paid date night she won with Idris Elba... you don't need to trust Idris, just her..

It sounds like you're very insecure.
i hope she has a great time and remembers... what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

She politely shuts it down (I've witnessed it). I trust her completely.

Then what’s your problem? It’s not her fault or responsibility she’s being hit on constantly by men who think they’re entitled to her attention. Your insecurities are yours to deal with her.

😂

It really doesn't matter what the other guys are doing, your GF isn't going to encourage them as you say she will politely brush them off.

So what's the problem? You are worried she will have her head turned. You need to work on your insecurities and if her head turns she will either keep quiet (what happens in Vegas and all that) or she will tell you, then you can make a decision on how to move on.

I think there is no better feeling than hearing from your other half how beautiful they think you are. So if/when she sends you a pic in Vegas in one of the dresses just remind her how gorgeous she looks. That will give her a buzz. Wish her a fun night with the girls .
Then just let her get on with it. Like anything, I am sure it won’t but if something is going to happen there is nothing you can do about it. Just just be kind and respectful and trusting and that is key to a lovely relationship :-) she will appreciate it I am sure.

I guess you "deal with it" by working on yourself and your insecurities.

This.

Or else you’ll drive her away.

I'd love to hear you recognise that no matter how you feel about it, she's the one that has to go through it and experience it.

I mean, hasn't that occurred to you? Bad enough to be peeves over by randoms, without them having to mollify your partner too.

I suspect you are judging her and them by your own standards - you're a gropey bloke who gives good looking women attention or laps it up when you get attention.
It's not occurred to you that it's irritating or irrelevant.

What's to deal with?

My partner has always gotten a lot of attention from men, I don't "do" anything about it, I trust her. If I didn't, I wouldn't be in a relationship with her.

Obviously if she wants my help getting rid of someone, then I'll make my presence known (I don't generally have to do much, I'm a big man with a facial scar that looks quite intimidating until you learn I got it falling off a table I was dancing on), but she's a grown woman, she's perfectly capable of talking to other men if she wants to, and getting rid of them if she doesn't.

"I trust her completely."

Theres your answer.

If you trust her, why is there anything to worry about?

Your problem seems to be that some men harass women when they’re out, we can’t stop that, as much as many of us would love to be able to. Don’t hold your girlfriend responsible for other mens shitty behaviour.

You can't stop men hitting on your girlfriend so stop stressing about that.

You trust her so stop stressing about that.

The problem is yours and yours alone.

You need to be at the top of your game in all areas for the rest of your time with her.

You deal with it the same way women do - by realising it really doesn't mean anything. Those men are constantly having their heads turned. It doesn't mean they plan on growing old with her! It's just looking, attention, flirting, before they move on to the next one.

Now if you are worried that she could actually cheat, well that could happen regardless of how anyone looks. Plus, you said you trust her. To be honest, you sound a bit possessive - like she is a good looking possession and you don't want another guy taking what you "have." Not to be rude, just food for thought.