Feeling ok with m/f friendship, does it get easier in time?

[toomanyjellyfish]

New bf has a close female friend. This is something I've not really encountered before in other relationships together with the fact my ex cheated so I find it a bit unsettling.

He supported her through some really emotional stuff/ mental health issues in the past and says he feels a duty to 'care for her' based on the fact that much of the anguish caused to her at the time was from the end of a relationship/involvement with his brother. They saw a lot of each other at this time (before me) but he's not seen her as much lately as says she's ok and he's obviously been more busy with me.

The 'feeling like he needs to look after her' bit unsettles me, is that just me being irrational based on my old experiences? I find it difficult to trust he's just a good guy (again based on my own experience)

Would you be worried about this?

It depends.

A genuine friendship, I wouldn't have an issue with. I'm close friends with an ex boyfriend's very long standing best friend and we really are just friends.

I'm always a little suspicious of friendship dynamics where it is rooted in and developed from one feeling the need to 'look after' the other. Not because I necessarily think there's anything going on but they're not equal and boundaries can get blurred. There's quite often a conflict of interests. Eg if you and he had plans, but she 'needed' him, who would he choose?

It's unlikely he'd feel the need to 'look after' a male friend in this way so the friendship was likely established because she was a woman not regardless of it.

It might be completely innocent but the only friendships I've encountered where one side feels emotionally responsible for a vulnerable opposite sex friend (assuming everyone is straight) is one where, from the outside, I've looked at it and thought I wouldn't be part of that. And that has been the case regardless of the direction of support (m>f or f>m).