Mother In Law moan - nothing serious, just a general pathetic whinge...

[Paranoid1stTimer]

Yesterday was my 1st Mothers day without my lovely mum who died last year. She HATED Mothers day saying it was a marketing ploy to make money for all the card/florist/booze shops and ALWAYS would scold you for getting her a prezzie (but you could see her eyes light up when you appeared at the door on that Sunday!!! )

Anyway, it never really had much significance and I thought I was doing ok until we had to get a last minute prezzie for OH's MIL expecting the local Asda to still have huge bouquets to choose from.... Needless to say the car park was mobbed and as we got to the doors, all the "love you Mum" and "Thank you Mum" stuff and having to help choose a card overcame me and I burst into tears...

Anyway, OH did say he could leave me at home and he would just go see his MIL but I didn't really wanna be alone so I went along and tried to keep my chin up. Now, MIL has never really liked me cos my OH is her baby and he is (or was until I came along and got him to live in sin with me) a total mummys boy but has become a hellofa lot more independent since I got pregnant. She has been strangely kind to me since she found out about the baby and always phones to find out how I am doing - all baby related - which I thought was really nice. Especially since I don't have my Mum fussing over me.

Well, yesterday I was pretty down and I am pretty much about to give birth any day so the hormones were also running high and she has gone right back to her old self. She was referring to our baby as "my son's baby" and saying how people were asking her when her grandchild was going to make an appearance n was really off with me. I don't know if it is because I am really hormonal and picking up on things too much but I had nightmares last night of her and my OH coming to the hospital when the baby is born and taking it away and leaving me on my own so they could bring it up together!!!

ARGH!!! Help - am I going mad?

I think it MUST be the late stage preg hormones but I have suddenly panicked at the thought that once this baby comes out she won't "need" to be "nice" to me anymore and will revert back to her old self and totaly try to take over.

I am soooooooooo sorry - this is so pathetic but I think I just need someone to say "Yeh yeh - I had MIL worries too but..." or whatever..

Don't even know why I am posting as now I am reading it back I sound like a stupid whiner!!!

Please just tells me its the hormones....

The dreams are hormonal
Your feelings yesterday were completely understandable and should have been acknowledged by everyone
She will still 'have to' be nice to you or you will be out every time she wants to visit!!

Good luck with the baby!!

Ignore the stupid bag. Shes sounds like a real warmer.

awh bless you. Yes, i think we can safely say it's the hormones. Can you really see you MIL and DP bringing up your baby together

My bet is that once the baby arrives and MIL see's how good a mummy you are you will form a whole new kind of a relationship. You will bond, you will have something in common, you will both be mummies!

Try not to worry so muc, you just sit back and enjoy these last few hours/days of rest and peace xx

Awww - you made me laugh there! Thanks - I needed it.

Yeh - thought it must be hormonal and I was worried to read any responses cos people on here have some serious issues and my post looks so silly and trivial now...

It really did get to me though so thanks for a bit of moral support

You are understandably hormonal and upset, the loss of your mother and the imminent arrival of your new baby would make anyone weepy.

Take no notice of your MIL, you can train her once the baby's here.

My MIL was exactly the same, unfortunately she was menopausal at the time when DS1 was born and I live miles away from my family. I always felt excluded and "in the way" and felt weepy and weak pre and post birth so let it happen. With DS2 I was much stronger and if I didn't like something, said so (in a nice, calm tactful manner). Life is so much easier now.

Relax, and take it easy, you have an exciting time ahead, stay strong and don't let anyone spoil your experience of new motherhood.

Totally agree with Timefor me, MIL adores my boys and sees that I do too (and "her" boy).

Don't alienate the babysitter whatever you do!

Thanks Lizzylou I do feel excluded but also really silly in case I am just being too "me me me" which I don't mean to be. They were looking through all the photos on the digital camera to see which ones they wanted to keep from yesterday and I noticed she had taken photos of everyone... except me... How stupid am I being!!! I think I am living up to my name once again and being completely paranoid. Maybe she thought I wouldn't want a big beached whale pic of myself!!!

Thanks for not saying "Ahhh get a grip!" everyone

It definitely is the hormones - though you have suffered a sad loss too and how you are feeling is totally understandable. So sorry to hear about your mum.

I just wanted to let you know that when I was pg I got in a total state about my own mum and sister - they are a bit needy and weird, and at one point I was so scared they were going to take over that I actually seriously asked DP if we could move to France or Australia to get away from them! It seems mad now but it felt real to me at the time.

But what happens is that you do realise that you (and OH) are the centre of your baby's world and you will make sure MIL doesn't take over. The hormones last a few weeks after the birth so don't worry if you're still teary and emotional for a while. But this is your baby and you will be a great mum. Good luck with the birth.

She sounds horrible and it sounds totally understandable that you're having nightmares about her. Just remember, OH chose you, it's you he wants to be with. And it's your baby. You decide when and how much she visits and how it all works.
Good luck for the birth.

aw Paranoid sorry to hear mothers' day was so tough on you, you poor thing I think when you add that to all the pg hormones and crazy dreams/thoughts/fears of these days it's no wonder you're feeling a little vulnerable.

my mum also hates mothers' day, and says all those same things, but I just take her at her word and get her nothing at all

Your story about your Mum's eyes lighting up is so lovely and there's a sweet irony in the fact of you missing her so much on a holiday she didn't care for.

Having to spend the day with a MIL who isn't that nice to you must have been tougher than you expected. But if things have been getting better since you've been pg then hopefully you'll be able to keep things on a decent footing once the baby arrives - it should give you something in common anyway. She's going to need to keep you sweet as someone already pointed out

aw Paranoid sorry to hear mothers' day was so tough on you, you poor thing I think when you add that to all the pg hormones and crazy dreams/thoughts/fears of these days it's no wonder you're feeling a little vulnerable.

my mum also hates mothers' day, and says all those same things, but I just take her at her word and get her nothing at all

Your story about your Mum's eyes lighting up is so lovely and there's a sweet irony in the fact of you missing her so much on a holiday she didn't care for.

Having to spend the day with a MIL who isn't that nice to you must have been tougher than you expected. But if things have been getting better since you've been pg then hopefully you'll be able to keep things on a decent footing once the baby arrives - it should give you something in common anyway. She's going to need to keep you sweet as someone already pointed out