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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Boyfriend scared to tell parents

3 replies

Frustrated557 · 08/09/2023 09:25

I'm mid 30s, divorced, white English and have a DD(10). My boyfriend of 2 years is from a traditional Indian Hindu family - his parents had an arranged marriage for example. We're very happy together, he's great with DD who loves him, thinking about moving in together etc.

His parents are visiting from India this month and I'd like to meet them before we move in together. But he's too scared to tell them that DD exists. He now says it's up to me how we approach this and I don't know what to do. They don't even speak much English! I'm not going to drag DD into this but should I take photos to our first meeting? Wait until the second meeting? I don't trust that he'll tell them without me pushing the issue and they're only here for a week.

Part of me thinks this is ridiculous in 2023 but I understand the cultural differences. We've already got the hurdle that them meeting me is akin to a proposal and I'm not ready for a big Indian wedding.

OP posts:
Scottishgirl85 · 08/09/2023 09:44

It is ridiculous in 2023, and it should be your boyfriend who tells them if he truly respects you and your DD. I could never marry into such a hostile situation. I hope he talks them round. Good luck!

perfectcolourfound · 08/09/2023 12:04

It isn't your job to tell them. If he is ashamed about your daughter's existence I don't think I could respect him.

Aprilx · 08/09/2023 12:26

He needs to tell them now, I mean he should have already.

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