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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Friendship advice

1 reply

Feelinglost30 · 07/09/2023 20:09

My best friend of 12 years has become quite distant with me recently. Is it true that friendships eb and flow? We have gone from voice noting every few days and meeting up when we can to just exchanging a couple of messages once a week, but recently it’s been me reaching out first and I’ll be the one that gets left on read when the conversation ends. This is very recent over the past 1-2 months. I’ve checked in that everything is going ok for her and she has said it’s fine. I can’t think of anything I would have said or done that would make her want to distance.

Shes recently moved in with her long term boyfriend, prior to that they were very on and off. I’ve also got my own relationship (together about a year not living together yet) so a lot of my free time is spent with him but reaching out to friends is still important for me. We are both in our 30s. My mental health is also not great at the moment, this isn’t helping but there are other separate things going on too, so I’m feeling very down , currently awaiting therapy and DP is very supportive.

I’m just wondering if this is normal with friendships?

OP posts:
Xeren · 09/09/2023 01:26

Couple of messages a week sounds pretty good. I know it’s a big dip from how much you spoke before but it could be that she’s just busy at the moment living with her boyfriend and enjoying that.

I would leave things for a while and she’ll get in touch with you when she wants. It doesn’t sound like she’s deliberately trying to pull back from you, she’s probably just distracted at the moment.

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