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Original poster

Grieving someone nobody else in my life knew

6 replies

OverwhelmedAndHopeless · 07/09/2023 19:01

Has anyone else got experience of this?

im grieving the very recent & sudden suicide of someone I was extremely close to but that nobody else in my life knew.

they knew OF him but didn’t know him and so have no memories of him. I also don’t know any of his other friends or his family.

He and I got to know each other over the past year and we ended up becoming very close emotionally. We talked pretty much every single day from January onwards and we saw each other most weeks from march on (we first got to know each other at work last year but I left that job not long after).

I’m shocked and devastated by his death. People are sympathetic but it’s so hard not being able to talk about him with anyone else who knew him, if that makes sense.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? How do you get through this? I’m in pieces right now.

OP posts:
hope80 · 07/09/2023 19:55

So sorry for your loss.
I don't have experience of other people not knowing the person, but unfortunately I have experience of suicide bereavement. The shock is beyond horrific so please be kind to yourself and take things one hour/ one day at a time. I found this guide helpful at the time

Support after someone may have died by suicide - NHS https://www.nhs.uk/livewell/suicide/documents/help%20is%20at%20hand.pdf 

https://www.nhs.uk/livewell/suicide/documents/help%20is%20at%20hand.pdf

Original poster
OverwhelmedAndHopeless · 07/09/2023 20:00

hope80 · 07/09/2023 19:55

So sorry for your loss.
I don't have experience of other people not knowing the person, but unfortunately I have experience of suicide bereavement. The shock is beyond horrific so please be kind to yourself and take things one hour/ one day at a time. I found this guide helpful at the time

Support after someone may have died by suicide - NHS https://www.nhs.uk/livewell/suicide/documents/help%20is%20at%20hand.pdf 

Thank you so much hope80 and I am so sorry for your loss too.

OP posts:
Birthdayplan · 07/09/2023 23:18

I’m so sorry for your loss. Sending all the love and hugs.

i don’t have experience of suicide bereavement but i have experienced a couple of bereavements of people that noone else in my life knew which did make it feel very difficult, one of the bereavements was very distressing for me as it was a close relative.

it was very hard to talk about it but over time and with the support of my loving friends and family who make an effort to ask about the people i’ve lost, i’ve been able to share things with them which has been nice.

is there any way of linking in with his family/friends? I think if possible, it could be a nice way of feeling connected with your friend.

please take care x

Seaoftroubles · 08/09/2023 00:03

So sorry O,P, Would it be at all possible for you to attend his funeral and that way say goodbye and share some memories?

Original poster
OverwhelmedAndHopeless · 08/09/2023 08:06

Birthdayplan · 07/09/2023 23:18

I’m so sorry for your loss. Sending all the love and hugs.

i don’t have experience of suicide bereavement but i have experienced a couple of bereavements of people that noone else in my life knew which did make it feel very difficult, one of the bereavements was very distressing for me as it was a close relative.

it was very hard to talk about it but over time and with the support of my loving friends and family who make an effort to ask about the people i’ve lost, i’ve been able to share things with them which has been nice.

is there any way of linking in with his family/friends? I think if possible, it could be a nice way of feeling connected with your friend.

please take care x

Thank you, I’m sorry for your loss too 🙏🏻

OP posts:
Original poster
OverwhelmedAndHopeless · 08/09/2023 08:06

Seaoftroubles · 08/09/2023 00:03

So sorry O,P, Would it be at all possible for you to attend his funeral and that way say goodbye and share some memories?

Possibly. Thank you.

OP posts:
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