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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Marriage Advice

2 replies

Sav03 · 07/09/2023 15:32

Hello ALL! I want to get opinions/Advice from others. I have been married to my husband for 12 years. We do have children together. We dont have a whole lot to do with each other. The last few years have been rocky and it only seems to get worse. He does have mental health issues BUT never gets help or talks to anyone and always seems to think he can control himself by himself and so on but its obvious he cant. I am a stay at home mom. I dont have help (babysitters) and cant afford daycare. i asked for money for things and was told i need to get a job (not in a joking matter either) Anyway he is just so hateful and rude half the time and cussing at me! he will tell me im a bitch or just say the rudest things to me and never apologizes. He recently threw something at me when he got mad. He can be very jealous. He will try to flip the script and tell me i make him act that way but i call BS. Someone doesnt make someone else act a certain way. Most of the time there is a argument the next day he carrys on like he did nothing. Every few months we have a conversation about its not working but the last time we had that conversation a few months ago he kept telling me im giving up on my marriage and thats not the case.. My husband i know isnt happy either ( he actually said he was leaving the other day (he didnt) because i said something i guess he didnt agree with. This has been a ongoing process off and on for atlest 2 years and im tired. If hes unhappy to and knows its just not working anymore why does he always act against splitting? I know i dont deserve this and its really getting to me. Of course nobody can tell me exactly what to do but i just need advice from others.. Do i stay in my unhappy marriage since we have been together so long or do i get the courage to get away?

OP posts:
Alcemeg · 07/09/2023 15:39

He's mean, controlling and rude, and never apologises, but he won't agree to split. So you're stuck with his BS until you decide you've had enough.

Deciding you've had enough can be hard when you've had years to get used to his childish tantrums. This has probably started to feel like normal life to you. But I promise you, it can be so much easier and more pleasant without this kind of crap to deal with. Flowers

cheapskatemum · 07/09/2023 16:08

Please contact Women's Aid and get onto a Freedom Course. He is abusing you. If you think that's just my opinion, look up the definition of financial abuse. You are a SAHM, allowing him to go out & work. You shouldn't have to ask for money and he certainly shouldn't be rude about it when you are forced to.

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