DH has been drinking too much for years. If i try to talk to him, he says he's been drinking less and tries to change the subject. I've written him a letter instead, which i'm going to show him tomorrow.
Please give me a bit of support- am trying get tough and i'm dreading it. i'm not good at confrontation. This is the letter:
Dear DH,
I?m writing this down because I want to make sure I say everything on my mind, and I want you to listen to me, instead of fobbing me off.
You drink far too much, and you drink every day. You?ve drunk every day for as long as I can remember. You said you?d cut down, but there are just as many empties as usual- even if you have cut down, you drank over 10 units every weeknight last week (and I know because I counted them) More on the weekend.
I don?t want to hurt your feelings, I love you more than anything, but you?re letting yourself go. You know that you are overweight and unfit, and as much as you joke about it, I don?t think that you are happy. Sunday night I couldn?t sleep until after midnight because of your snoring; you were sleeping so heavily, sweating and smelling of booze. This happens a few times every week now- it?s not fair on me, I deserve some rest. I asked you to watch DS2 Sunday night because I needed the loo and he was awake. When I came back he was crying and you were snoring next to him. It?s not good enough.
We?ve got 2 DCs who depend on us, you have a responsibility to them (and me) to be well. If you carry on like you are you?ll end up with liver disease or cancer, at best you?ll be obese. I don?t want to lose you, and I don?t want to see you end up seriously ill like your mother was when she had cancer.
It?s time to stop kidding yourself and joking about things- you have to decide which is more important, your family or beer. Things have got to change DH.
We love you, we want you to be fit and able to enjoy doing things as a family, and I want to the kids to have a better example than a Dad who was always drinking. You?re a good man and a good Dad, with lots of great qualities, but this is spoiling things now. Please, please do something about this.
Love you more than words,
DW