OLD in a CV muddle

[Happysinglemum72]

So I’ve been OLD on and off for a while. Not much success… it’s all a bit depressing. Seems I attract mainly boys young enough to be my son or men asking if I’m up for ‘casual fun’!! It was suggested to me that I should pursue several people at once and keep my options open. Rather than concentrating on one person in a traditional way of dating. The latter is my preferred, I’m 50 and it’s just the way I used to date years ago begin OLD. But I keep getting my time wasted with men who just don’t know what they want. Anyway, I am matched with one man who I like but we’ve been unable to meet yet due to my childcare commitments and him going on holiday. I have another match that has asked me on a date this weekend. Which I’ve accepted… although I’m kind of liking the sound of the one on holiday more. The one that’s on holiday has just text to say he’s gutted we can’t meet up this weekend and then asked if I have any other dates lined up? Argh! I know it’s reasonable for me to go on other dates but it feels a bit odd and I’m unsure how to respond without putting him off!!!

Can’t work out how to edit 🤦‍♀️ should say ‘bit of a muddle’!

It's none of his business. You don't have to answer the question. You can be old-school mysterious and say, 'I do have plans this weekend but I am also looking forward to meeting you when you get back from holiday if we can ever get our free time to match up!'

I agree to just say you’ve got plans this weekend but would like to meet when he’s back from holiday

Im similar age OP and I can’t get on board with multi dating either. It just feels wrong to me

I tell them I'm chatting to others, and might meet if diaries align. It's first dates, not marriage. Many of them don't go past first dates.

There are only two of them (over 18 months or so) that I'd drop everyone else for, but the first wouldn't work for logistical reasons, and the other is the one I'm still seeing. I am still in touch with a couple of others, but just as friends as they're fine to chat to.

You have to work out what boundaries you're comfortable with, but I would meet the weekend one, and then the other when he's back, and make a decision after that. Childcare will mean you're not likely to be meeting every night anyway.

(I'm 51.)

I've had a lot first dates over the last three years that I just know straight away they are not for me. It’s a learning curve for sure. I’ve even dated a couple for a few months. So I’m not new to it…. Just an awkward question isn’t it? Not had it before. I assume they are dating others until we say otherwise. He seems quite keen and I guess he knows it’s my child free weekend and may have made plans … just wasn’t sure just how honest I should be at this stage..

Did he mean any other dates you are free to meet him on? Not other dates with other people - that's none of his business!

No definitely meant with other people. I just kept it light and said I did get a few other matches and I’m chatting with them. He seems quite chilled really …. Think he was just testing the water.