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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Friendship affected after my traumatic experience

4 replies

Emma005 · 07/09/2023 11:21

Hi
can anyone relate to this?
I had a pregnancy loss a few months ago and my friend who lives abroad was always there on the phone for me before my loss. We met up a month after my loss and she had a few drinks and became very opinionated and said that stress caused it ect she was bang out of order and I was very upset so I left next morning and she apologised and said people have their opinions on things but I cut my self away from her as I was still trying to heal and I cut off contact with her for a while. She’s been home twice since and we havnt seen each other. There were times where we got back speaking on the phone messages ect but I did shut down with people as I found I wasn’t able to open up due to what had happened and only reached out to those who understood. She said she will always be there for me ect but really she hasnt. If I talk about my loss or my ex she dosent acknowledge it , She’s very cocky in her self it’s all about her and how great she is I just can’t listen to that. When she was back home recently we had random texts and I text her after a few weeks and I said I guess we’re not meeting while your home then and she said well I didn’t hear from you and when you do quiet I give you the space you need and I respect that , well she didn’t communicate that with me so how was I to know !! Anyway there’s silence for weeks now and I think this friendship is over and I resent her for the way she spoke to me that time ect - sad really. Like how do we fix this ! We’re prob both at fault here too but I could be lying in a gutter and she wouldn’t even know. I’m really vulnerable still so please I don’t want anyone to be harsh with me 🥴as it’s a very lonely experience what I’ve been through

OP posts:
PaintedEgg · 07/09/2023 11:27

no, you're not at fault. She's acted like a complete bitch and then didn't really apologise for it. Do you really need a friend like this?

Emma005 · 07/09/2023 11:35

@PaintedEgg yeh I don’t need a friend like this
I am really good to my friends and give people too many chances sometimes but I think with this one it’s over without closure
sad really

OP posts:
PunishmentRoundupWithJoon · 07/09/2023 14:54

So sorry about your pregnancy loss. This woman doesn't sound like a real friend at all - it may be hard, but you don't need people like this in your life. A true friend would be there to listen if you needed to talk about your loss and would understand why you shut down for a while.

Hope you continue to heal - good luck.

workshy46 · 07/09/2023 14:56

Personally a lot of times people don't know what to say and end up putting their foot in it. She did apologize for upsetting you and was giving you space.
I think people on here are far too quick to throw away friendships so unless there is a massive back story I would maybe distance myself but not close the door entirely.

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