Been with DP for eight years, have one child together and two children from my previous relationship. Generally it’s an okay relationship but there are times when I feel the workload is on my shoulders. Be that domestic, making arrangements, looking after children etc. I suspect he has ADHD but that’s not this problem is about.
Saturday just gone he started drinking early around 5pm we then ordered a takeaway with the family around 6 and he was saying he wasn’t feeling very hungry. He ate a little bit which normally he would’ve eaten a lot more. I started thinking that was a little bit odd and then I went to bed around 11 o’clock and he stayed up. I woke up around 3am and he hadn’t come to bed. When I got up in the morning, he was lying on the sofa saying he needed more sleep. We had booked a swimming session at 11:30 for all of us so obviously he had to get up. He went straight into the shower which he never does, usually has a few cups of coffee. The rest of that day he was acting very sketchy, wasn’t talking, kept wanting to go to sleep. I knew this wasn’t a normal hangover so I asked him what else he was drinking. He said he had some shots of rum. When I looked at the bottle of rum nothing was taken out of it. Later on when I cooked dinner he didn’t want much, so immediately i started thinking he’s done more than just a few too many so I confronted him. Have you done more than just beers and rum? So he confessed straight away that he had got some Coke from somebody at work and he had taken it. I was absolutely fuming because he was doing this when my children were around and because he did this all behind my back. I just can’t believe he would do something like that. He used to do Coke when he was younger to my knowledge he hasn’t done it for a good 7 years since our youngest was born, but I’m not too sure I believe him. When I asked him why he said he bought it because he felt a bit depressed. He felt a bit down a couple of weeks ago and I’m just struggling to get my head round that he would actually do this and think he would get away with it and to think it’s acceptable to do when there’s children in the house. He has apologised and said he won’t do it again, but I feel my trust has been broken. I suspect he’s probably done it before now but he swears that he hasn’t. What I’m really asking is where do I put the boundary on this because I’m so upset and I just don’t feel like I can trust him .