Bf previously only dated younger…

[Agegapconfusion]

Hi all

Would really appreciate some advice please. I’ve been with current bf for 6 months, getting to know each other etc.
Everything is going well, he seems lovely and have spoken about a future together. We recently chatted about previous relationships and he hasn’t had many (4 before me) but they’ve all been with younger women. Largest age-gap is 5 years he said. I’m not sure why but it’s kind of given me the ick? And also made me feel a bit insecure, maybe i’m too old for him or maybe as i get older he’ll be looking at younger women?

Sorry ages are v important here! We are both early 30s and i know he’s never dated a teenager as an older person due to knowledge of his previous relationships etc

Age gap of 5 years doesn’t seem like much of an age gap. How old is he? If 22, very significant if 32, not at all.

Oh ok, well it seems fine then. It barely counts as an age gap in my mind. Say 33 with 28, I would say that’s within the same age range really.

I can be funny about the really huge age gaps you read on MN like “ I was 21 and married a 48 year old”. However, a 32 year old dating a 27 year old wouldn’t raise red flags for me. They’re both broadly in the same age group/similar stage of life or maturity. I wouldn’t even see 5 years or less as an age gap per se even though yeah strictly speaking I guess it is.

And I know people age differently but if I pulled up photos of myself at 27 and myself at 32 you wouldn’t be able to which one was which. I’m sure that’s the same for a lot of people, so it doesn’t necessarily mean he goes for a super young look either as there isn’t always an obvious difference how old a 27 year old looks compared to a 32 year old. Finding a 27 year old attractive at age 32 is pretty age appropriate.

Strange thing to worry about. Is low self esteem something that you struggle with?
How old are you both, btw?

5 year difference isnt massive. And younger men seem less mature than same aged women - so this isnt some worrying ‘ick’ worthy situation.
And age difference in his three other relationships was even less than 5 - so pretty negligible.

Thanks all for responses and giving my head a bit of a wobble! It’s really helpful to get your perspectives and that actually it seems like it’s not even something to think about. Someone mentioned low self esteem - i didn’t think i did, but maybe you’re right. The first thing i thought when he told me was, oh i’m not good enough and he’d prefer a younger woman. Which is not a reasonable thought to have, as you have all said, this is hardly age-gap stuff

Oh - were both early 30s. I didn’t ask specifics but i know the youngest he could have dated was 23 when he was 28 based on knowledge of previous relationships.

Is there anything else that worries you even the tiniest bit in this relationship or in his attitude to women or close friends/family?

I actually disagree with most posters here slightly, four relationships with younger women … particularly if all four were nearer the 5-year age gap…. Hmmm, I’d worry slightly about imbalances of power. If it was a one-off, total non event, but statistically most young people form relationships with those of almost exactly the same age. Your guy might be an outlier and that is always worth paying attention to.

I don’t like to think that your first thought was, “oh, I’m not good enough/ young enough”. :(

An age gap of 5 years isn't much at all when you are an adult tbh.

Agree with others, 5 years is barely an age gap, certainly not enough of one to brand him as someone who has a thing for younger women.