Why would he text first and then give dry replies?

[chocolateaddict231]

Hi all,

I have been seeing someone and it was going well until last week I called him out on a behaviour I didn't like. He is away with work at the moment so we are communicating only via phone. Every day he messages first but then gives very dry one word responses to my messages, rarely follows up with a question. It's quite confusing and is clearly in relation to me calling him out last week. Seems immature, just don't text me first please!

He sounds immature and potentially manipulative. I'd bin him.

sounds like he’s a bit confused. I’ve been through this with my fella.

the texting first is a good thing. Shows that he is thinking of you. The rest of it, sounds like he’s in his own head a little bit, maybe taking stock and analysing the behaviour you called out, where it’s coming from etc, possibly dealing with some quite deep stuff

so he wants to have the normality of talking to you, but struggles to act relaxed/ normal around you if that makes some sort of sense?

it’ll come back once he sorts his head out. You just do you and don’t overthink/ analyse

if you want an IRL comparison then it’s a bit like an elephant in the room situation, he wants to communicate with you and things to be as normal, but the elephant in his own head is getting on the way.

many men are unfortunately poor communicators

Maybe he just doesn't want to be glued to his phone all day on his trip.

One word answers are his way of hinting that he's busy. But he drops you a good morning bevayse he doesn't want you to feel you aren't being missed.

Every day he messages first but then gives very dry one word responses to my messages

He's playing mind games with you.

Bin him.

I think he's text-sulking. He has to text you first otherwise you wouldn't know he was sulking, you'd probably just be going about your day. It's not because he's analysing his behaviour and going through some deep psychological transformation (is that really what your 'fella' told you @Antilope ?!)

He's trying to punish you for calling him out. How long have you been seeing him?

Yes it’s a way he’s communicating that he’s pissed off.

What was the behaviour you called out?

He's a sulker. Highly unattractive trait and it will only get worse. I would bin him off.

My narc ex does this. I think it's bread crumbing. Wants the attention and knowing that he's texted you, so he's in your mind, but then doesn't follow up with any kind of conversation because that would require actual effort. It's like an ego boost for that type of person. I'd stop texting him back at all because you know exactly the low effort you'll get from him in response, and either wait to discuss the issue you called him on in person, or just let it fizzle out completely, depending how invested you are and if it's worth bothering with.

Or he could simply be working It is a business trip. Does he message you first over breakfast while he has time, and is then focused on work.

Does it get better late in the evenings, when he is on his own?

No need to be so aggressive 😉

it’s not what he told me. I work in a role where men often open up to me about their relationships and thoughts, and that’s what I hear.

but yeah my ‘fella’ does shut down when he has something on his mind. It’s the equivalent of a woman going ‘yeah I’m fine’ when asked why they’re acting off.

if you called him out on something minor then ignore me but some men can be massive overthinkers.

He's often away with work and would usually message all day every day so its not that hes busy, he's a real phone addict type (despite being 40!).

The behaviour I called him out was not being there for me through a tricky situation. I simply explained I was disappointed, not angry. He seemed genuinely surprised like he was in the right

^ this.

My boyfriend was a bit like this.. he genuinely is just shit at texting and when he and his friends text they all are the same haha so I think he just didn't know any different. He was always a lot better in person and more present in the conversation 😂