I realise that people have a tendency to minimise and deny abuse and victim blame and these are common and so common as to be normal behaviours. However they are confusing, harmful and hurtful behaviours too. If you come from an abusive family with very damaging dynamics at play how do you put up with the denial, gaslighting, dismissive, minimising behaviours that tend to go along with abuse from others who were not the primary abuser.
Do you speak out? do you ignore it and accept that these people have different experiences with the people involved.
There was extensive abuse in my family of origin from a sibling towards other siblings and my parents are his primary enablers but other family members also enable my parent’s delusions and quite frankly my brother was very much a product of their upbringing too.
I have largely stepped back and I am NC with most of them but I am very LC with some members of my family. They will obviously mention the other members of the family I am NC with because they are still part of their lives. I don’t generally respond but I am interested in what others might do.