Hi
ive posted this here as it is about a relationship as it concerns my husband and this thread seems quite active . This is more for advice with the NHS
My husband had an accident with significant injuries ( there’s a complaint and possible negligence but that’s a long story ) so I’m trying to shorten it here .
He had a broken hip , broken shoulder and all ribs broken on one side . He was discharged, we believe unsafely , after surgery to repair his hip and shoulder ( advised to hop in and out of a large step to our home , told it was safe he could go out etc . No assessment , no one assessed our home or saw the step but we told them repeatedly and our concerns . Bear in mind using a crutch - both sides of his upper body are broken ) . The day after he came home he fell on the step and further damaged his hip and shoulder , damaging the pins put in and both breaks are actively deteriorating. The fall was 2 weeks ago. Before the fall he was healing well .
we went to a hospital appointment a few days after the second discharge to be told that his shoulder needs surgery asap ( still not had a date , we were told 1-2 weeks it’s been 2 weeks . ) With surgery he will have 80% function in his arm , leaving it will lead to complete loss of function as it’s deteriorating day by day. The original hospital told us he may need surgery - a nurse mentioned it in passing as he was being discharged- the new hospital knew nothing until we mentioned it then said it was an emergency. Had we not told them it would have been left.
Anyway , back to the main point. The new hospital told us at the appointment that his hip cannot be repaired by surgery , it’s actively deteriorating. This was all new information and unexpected . We had been led to believe his care was being transferred as the new hospital had a better surgical reconstruction team. The scan that day showed more damage than the scan a week before that he had just after his fall . They said they have two options . 1- a hip replacement if it continues to deteriorate- he would recover from a hip replacement within a few weeks , slowed down by his other injuries, but he would pretty much completely recover , be able to go back to his job ( a physical job but high paid and it’s his career he’s worked hard to move up and it’s all he has ever done - he’s 36 ) . No long term effects that would affect him day to day .
Option 2 - leave it to heal , if it stops deteriorating. But with this , he would need a replacement in 10 - 15 years anyway , but in the meantime he will have one leg significantly shorter than the other and have a permanent limp , need special built up shoes and have walking sticks permanently too. He won’t be able to do his job and his mobility will be affected in all areas of his life . This isn’t a “maybe” this is it , this is 100% what is going to happen without the replacement, the damage is already there and only replacing the hip will fix it.
My husband is 36, very active , we have children he plays football with them, he takes them swimming , he loves his job , he is the main income earner . This will kill him . His whole life affected , he will slip in to depression I know he will . This may not sound like a big thing either but he’s a very image conscious person - the amount of difference in the length of his legs means he can’t have discrete buildup inside his normal shoes it will be a specialist medical boot / shoe . The replacement would take all of this away and mean he can live a normal life , it would affect his ability for maybe extreme sports ( that’s fine ! ) but day to day he wouldn’t be affected and he would be able to do his job . As a side note the financial aspect will really affect us , as it stands I am not at work right now due to his care ( I have a post grad level career , newly qualified, but I work agency so no work = no pay ) and he was very newly self employed ( 6 weeks prior to accident ) so no income coming in - we have applied for universal credit but the income loss is about 70% . We have no savings . He asked the doctor if he could opt for the replacement- in an emotionally charged moment he said “ if I have to live like that I’ll end up killing myself “ - the response to all this was “ that’s not justification for a replacement” . The doctors reasoning was that there is no going back after a replacement and at his age they want to do what they can to save his hip - even though he had just said that they can’t , but he spoke as if him having permanent disabilities was the best option as “ most people cope ok “ but he has also just said that he categorically will not be able to do his job and that the sticks , limp , length difference is guaranteed and permanent- nothing they can do .
What can we do ? Can we push for the replacement ? Surely at 36 years old the replacement is the best option ?! He will have to have one in 10-15 years anyway but by then the prime of his life has passed . They also said that at some point the pins may start to protrude out of his hip and then if that got ‘too bad ‘ he might need a replacement. He worked hard to get where he is , I recently qualified in my field and agency work was temporary - I was going to go into a permanent salaried role once my son started college this year . My son is autistic and we don’t know what the future holds - I studied for my career so at this point , with my husband also recently making good progression , that we could begin to put things in place for his future … to save for a house so that we have some security for him and something to leave him so he doesn’t end up in the care of social services when he’s an adult if he’s not able to live independently and our time comes . This is impossible if he can’t continue to work . In 10-15 years my husbands prime part of his life is passed .
I don’t understand why they would leave him like that when there is an option. It’s not like we’re just saying we want it with no valid reason or to just make it a bit easier to recover - the entire course of our lives will change without it but most importantly my husband will have to live with permanent disabilities without it and I really worry how that will affect him and how he will cope .