Arguments over trivial things escalate

[Str3bor]

Not sure what sort of advice I’m after but my partner can be so lovely and we have a lovely time together but sometimes he can just lose his temper so easily and fly off the handle (not physically I must add!) instead of communicating properly and then I bite and we end up having a massive argument completely blown out of proportion.

The thing is he says nasty things in his anger and I find them hard to deal with. He openly admits he says nasty things just to win an argument but I just don’t know how much more I can take. He says he doesn’t mean them and apologies afterwards but they are really upsetting at the time.

i know I’m just as guilty as I bite back and I end up questioning everything which makes things escalate further and I just don’t know why I do this.

just after some words of wisdom or advice really.

That would be a deal breaker. He sounds manipulative and just plain nasty. And no, you're not "just as guilty" if he provokes you into retorting to his abuse.

He should consider therapy. There must be something triggering him to make him lose his temper and verbally abuse you. It's not only going to seriously damage your relationship but also you as a person. Sorry you are going through this x

What is the most frustrating thing is that these arguments are over such trivial things. I just don’t know what to do going forward :(

Dump him then no more arguments or nastiness

Don't apologise for biting back - the last thing you want to start doing is walking on eggshells and biting your tongue and "managing" his temper.

Talk to him when he's not in a mood, explain the problem, and explain that you won't be signing up for a lifetime of this, so does he want to stop doing it, or should you end the relationship now.

Sounds to me like he is abusive. Please look up the nice then nasty 'cycle of abuse'. I have to say that I have learned this from some very wise posters on here, some of whom may be along soon.

I feel like we have a really great relationship but I’m always wondering how long this nice phase will last for when we are in it