I understand that everyone's reaction may be different, but would just appreciate any thoughts about how best to show support for a friend who is dealing with infertility?
A friend of mine, (who I met through work so we're not super close but we get on) - has over the years told me bits about wanting children, and various barriers. Typical things - a non-commital partner, then break up in late thirties. Later she talked about adoption, (although since ruled it out) and with hindsight I suspect that might have been around the time she found out there could be some fertility issues. She has always talked very positively about parenthood and different ways of being a parent, ie not focused only on having biological children, being a support to nieces and nephews etc.
I hadn't realised that this was still a focus until she told me a while ago that she was exploring IVF. Sadly she's since told me that's not a possibility for her, I'm not sure of the details or how far down that route (ie whether she'd tried and it failed, or if there was a reason she couldn't go ahead) but she's said it's final and having her own baby is ruled out.
I personally don't have children (by choice) and I haven't felt the 'pull' to have children that many women do, also I happen to be autistic and not great with social cues. I want to support my friend but I'm genuinely a bit unsure how to do so, especially as she drops the information into conversation quite casually, and with a very bright & breezy/glass half full manner - eg when talking about not having her own baby through IVF she was making jokes about not having to worry about stretch marks.
I hope it's not too insensitive to ask, but if you were in this situation or similar how do you wish people would have responded? I feel a bit like it could all be brushed under the carpet but I'm sure - given how many years this has been an undercurrent of our conversations, and how many different things she's looked at, and just how she talks about other people's children - that this must be awful news for her. If anyone has advice on how to be a good friend re this (other than being there to listen, which I'm trying to do) I'd appreciate it.