My (F30s) brother (30s) has been unemployed for nearly 3 years after he quit his job, to “take time off”.
He lives at home with my mother, stays up til 2/3AM most nights (not gaming) and shows up around lunchtime.
He doesn’t leave the house much (around 3x week) and occasionally meets with friends.
He spent most of the last 3 years essentially enjoying hobbies and doing what he wanted. He barely does any housework and generally is disrespectful to my mother (70/retired).
During the last 3 years, he decided he was going to be an “entrepreneur”, however the time he puts on this project/idea has been far less compared to time spent on hobbies/doing nothing. Just to add, this project is not complete and brings in 0 money.
He pays no bills, no rent and has access to my mother’s cars for practically no cost. He buys some groceries but generally speaking contributes very little, if anything.
I’ve listened to my mother complain, worry and stress about this for the last few years and I have always tried to guide her and generally be sympathetic.
I have explained to her that he has no need to work and that she needs to stop making it so comfortable/easy. However nothing has changed.
As of late, I’m really starting to realise that my mother is enabling this to continue and allows my brother walk all over her with little to no consequences. However she has stressed that to him/me that she does not want this to continue (living at home with no job).
It’s become very difficult for me to visit as it’s quite a toxic/tense environment due to my brother and in my opinion, his narcissistic traits.
I feel like I am already dreading Christmas or this topic arising for discussion again.
What would you do in my situation?