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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

drug addict ex husband supplying children

5 replies

Flixon · 05/09/2023 09:38

I divorced my ex husband in 2010 mostly because of his cannabis ( and cocaine I think, although not proven) habit, social services were not really interested and told me I had to keep the children safe - I tried, he had access on a Saturday, no overnight stays. He has lived with first his elderly parents and now just with his mother since his father died. Kids were 11, 8 and 5 when we divorced. How 24, 21 and 8 so all legally adults.
age found out he has been supplying them with cannabis since they were 14 years old. have known they were smoking and done everything I could to talk them though the downsides, all have failed academically due to apathy and lack of motivation, two are now basically drifting due to excess cannabis use that just means they have no motivation to do anything at all. I do not give them money, beyond housing ad feeding them,. I now find out. all along he was encouraging them to smoke with him, giving them weed and promoting the view that its harmless and of no consequence.

I know there is nothing at all I can do. He has no friends and no life and he's trying to turn his kids into weed addicted losers like him. Short of moving to Australia, there is nothing at all I can do is there ?

OP posts:
OhComeOnFFS · 05/09/2023 09:47

That is really awful. I can't say on here what I'd want to do to him.

Spa7tak · 05/09/2023 11:47

Get legal advice first then call the Law

Bananalanacake · 05/09/2023 13:25

Does he work, does he encourage them to get a job, if they don't work they have no money for anything.

Dolores87 · 05/09/2023 17:30

There isn't anything you can do. They are all adults now. All you can really do is keep an eye out for their mental health etc but tbh they are all adults. The older two especially. I think by housing and feeding them still you are accidentally enabling them to not bother to do anything instead of be stoned. Honestly I know it's painful but I think you need to stop feeding them and definitely the older two you need to suggest they move out unless they are contributing equally to the house or enrolled with and engaging in college etc.
Also I wouldn't take a "weed is bad" approach as it won't help and they won't listen, it's more that if they are going to smoke they have to hold down their lives too.

MintJulia · 05/09/2023 17:54

I'd report the whole lot to the police. They won't do anything to your dcs other than maybe issue a warning, but they should do him for dealing.

Is he paying for all four of them to smoke weed. I doubt it.

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