Hairs- innocent or sign of cheating?

[Curious90]

I am pregnant and due to move in with my boyfriend next month, but ive recently got suspicious of him. I don't know if this is my hormones and the big step of moving in together playing tricks on me.
Me and my boyfriend have dark hair greys/ golden mingled in.
The other week I met my boyfriend 3 times and each time he had a grey hair on his hoody, the first 2 times it was just a single grey, the last time there were dark ones when I looked closer. But previous to that I didn't notice any grey hairs on his clothes for a month.
Should I be worried he's periodically cheating or could it be as innocent as hair shedding patterns are random and this is completely normal?
The hairs match mine and his, it's just strange to sometimes find multiple grey/ gold a week then go for months without seeing any.
It seems silly and I don't know if this is the right place but I want to be more rational before moving in and having the baby.

Your worry is that he is cheating based on the random pattern of when you see a hair or two on his hoody, but you say the hairs match yours or his. I think I have that right. If so, I think you have the problem and need help. A few hairs, let alone ones that match yours, does not mean he is cheating.

This sounds utterly bonkers, frankly, OP. If there is nothing else to trigger your suspicions, your behaviour of studying his clothes and analysing anything found is wild. You can’t treat someone like that, scrutinising his behaviour and accusing him of cheating repeatedly with such flimsy ‘evidence’ is an awful way to treat a person.

I’m sorry you’re struggling OP. I do think you need to seek help with these feelings before they damage another relationship. It’s perfectly understandable to feel anxious from time to time but this goes beyond that… you should reach out to someone because it sounds like it’s affecting your day to day life.

The problem with paranoid hyper-vigilance is that it tends to recreate the very experience you are doing everything in your power to avoid. It is life- and soul-destroying for everyone involved.

I would also suggest that if roles were reversed and your partner was behaving like you did, that it would be bordering on behaviourally unacceptable.

OP you need to deal with your past issues. Using your past to sabotage your present will be a self fulfilling prophecy.

How can you live this way? Genuinely I don’t understand how you can be in a relationship where clearly you’re comfortable enough to have a child together but you’re analysing every hair you find on him and assuming he’s cheating!

Jesus fucking wept. I've no words. You need to see a counsellor before that baby arrives. There's hyper vigilance and ridiculous.

I've just looked down and I've about 4 hairs on my shirt. 2 black that are probably the dog's and the rest mine.

Funnily enough I looked down to discover four goldennhairs on my own top... from our rabbit 😅

In all seriousness, I agree this is bizarre and unhealthy behaviour and it needs dealt with before kids are involved. I'd not appreciate a partner making assumptions about my fidelity based on a few rogue hairs on my clothes. Though I'd not expect anyone to inspect my clothing, hairs or otherwise.

This is bonkers and a sure fired way to ruin your relationship.
I've not read such a bonkers thread for a while..
Jesus Christ, you really need to address the past issues first!

Sil once came close to thieving bil out and divorcing him because he had a few blonde hairs on his hoody and the back car seat.

He'd came to the house to talk to dh about being upset as sil not believing him and he didn't understand where the hair could have come from, dh immediately said they'll be mine and I moult worse than our dog. Bil had given us a lift home one day and I was in the back.

Dh complains regularly about my hair getting all over the place, he's even pulled them from his arse crack and I go nowhere that.

Throwing bil out (using app and don't have edit feature)

OP, this is truly bonkers. You're bordering into abusive levels of monitoring your partner and it has to stop. There's no way you can have a healthy relationship with someone you don't trust. It's not fair on him, you, and it's definitely not fair on your child to be behaving this destructively towards the father.

On one hand you're saying you believe they are his greys and your own golden hairs...plus you both clearly have dark hairs too. What is the problem?

Also, I have dark hair and was single for 5 years but used to sometimes notice long blonde hairs on my clothing. Assume from out & about. Probably some of the darker hairs on my clothing were from others too. I never really thought much of it other than it being annoying

I want you to take a look at what’s happening here from a distance. You have posted photos of your and your boyfriend’s scalp on the internet to ask if hairs that look like yours and his that you occasionally find on his clothing could be signs of cheating.

I think you need therapy. I say this with compassion and without judgment.

OH my Lordy Lord, your poor fella. Maybe he left his hoodie on the back of a chair and someone else sat there. Maybe, someone borrowed his jumper (sister, mate, you) Maybe his mum hugged him because he was upset at being accused of cheating, when he wasn’t.

Yes it is. You need counselling or other help with your issues, the poor man is likely doing nothing wrong.

im pretty sure ive seen post like this before - and about blonde hair which OP mentioned here as well..

regardless...

this is insane. We come across so many people and animals each day that having hair on us is not that unusual. A quick hug while greeting someone can leave their hair on us. How do you even know it's human hair?

you should seek some professional help before your baby arrives

I thought it seemed familiar myself. Mind you, my 4yo came home from school today with a blonde hair on their junper which most certainly isn't theirs. I've withheld from calling the school and asking which blonde child it belongs to 🙈 I'd honestly be away if a partner posted a pic of my hair and scalp online