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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

NC cousin injured

4 replies

YorkshireVale · 04/09/2023 16:30

Hi,

I have an Aunt who has over time cut contact with most of the family for various reasons.

I used to go horse riding with my Aunt and last saw her around 6-8 years ago.

Unfortunately she has very recently been involved in a very bad accident whilst horse riding.

She will never walk again.

I keep thinking about her. I'd like to send her a message saying sorry to hear about the accident and that we're thinking of her but I have this nagging thought in my head that I shouldn't.

I'm not entirely sure why, I just feel really apprehensive. Partly guilty as I still ride a horse. Part of me also thinks that sending a message to somebody that has had such an awful accident is pathetic, there's nothing anybody can do to help her.

It's now just going round and round in my head. I don't know what to do. Part of me also thinks she might send a nasty message back, I guess if she does at least I tried.

I can't really explain my feelings. A lot of guilt I guess. I also think because I have seen or heard from her for so long it also makes it harder. I don't know if she would want to hear from me.

There's nothing I can do to help her, I wish I could

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 04/09/2023 16:32

I would send the message. The worst that can happen is that she tells you to get lost.

SlippinJanie · 04/09/2023 16:39

I would send a message too. At the very least, it'll stop you wondering " should I shouldn't I". Even if there's nothing you can actually do to help, it shows your aunt that you've been thinking of her with concern / affection. It might mean a lot to her.

Fluffygoon · 04/09/2023 18:01

You’ve got nothing to lose by sending a message - for your own peace of mind if nothing else.

If she’s distanced herself from her siblings it could be that her relationship with nieces/nephews has become a casualty. She may be thrilled someone in the family cares.

Malapataraso · 04/09/2023 23:47

What is an NC cousin now? Christ with these abbreviations.

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