Just thought I'd post on here to see if anyone has been or is going through something similar...
I've been with my husband for almost 18 years & married for 11. We have two beautiful children who we both adore, but I'm really unhappy. I haven't felt happy for quite some time, but have just been burying it & carrying on. We have a good life & I told myself I was just being ungrateful.
Bit of background... Our youngest is 3 & my husband has barely helped me with him since he was born. He hasn't helped around the house at all for as long as I can remember (and I mean literally nothing) and he goes out with his friends a lot. I don't like to complain about the latter because we are both very easy going when it comes to going out with our friends. However, I have had many times over the last months (probably even years) where I've felt like I'm doing everything on my own & have felt lonely.
It's almost like we've been living separate lives. I've met a new group of people to go out with lately & I have been out more & drinking more, which I know is not the answer. Especially when I struggle with anxiety which is made worse by burning the candle at both ends.
Recently it's come to a head & I told my husband how I felt. I said I wasn't sure if I wanted to be on my own as I'm so used to it. He didn't take it well & we've had a really tough couple of months. We had a very emotional week last week & talked through a lot of things. I'm aware that I'm certainly not perfect either. He's realised that he could lose me & is now bending over backwards to help me more. I'm struggling to adjust as it's been me holding the house together for so long.
I feel awful for saying this, but I'm just not attracted to him anymore. Over time, I've slowly been shutting off from him. He's a great dad (when he's present) & he's really not a bad person, but I'm so confused about the future.
He thinks I'm having a midlife crisis and he could be right - but I have to ask myself what has been making me so unhappy, and I know the answer. I do feel like I want to be on my own, but then I also feel like I should give him a chance, as he is really trying. It's just a shame that it's taken me to get to such a low point for him to understand that I'm serious about me needing more from him (previously he would've just seen it as me moaning etc).
I don't want to make any rash decisions, but at the moment, I can't see my feelings changing. I'm very aware there's not just me to think of & that the kids come first. I've spoken to my mum & she totally gets where I'm coming from (she's seen the lack of support I've been getting), but she's telling me to hold on because of the kids.
Our families are so linked as well. It would mess so many things up, which I am so aware of, but I can't shake this feeling of unhappiness.
Any advice / experiences would be very welcome. Thank you x