Advice needed

[Welshnproud]

I'm really struggling in my relationship. My DH told me some weeks ago he didn't know what love is, whether he loved me. We got married 3 years ago, he wanted it, we had been living together for years. I was so angry, felt the last years have been a sham. He had a life changing accident 7 years ago. I supported him in every way. It was really hard. He developed PTSD which I helped him have therapy go.
We managed to get through it but recently found out DH had a large financial payout 3 years ago and didn't tell me. I asked him about it yesterday me. He tried to say he told me at the time but I know he didn't. That's not the sort of thing I would forget.
He can't say what's happened to the money, says it went in this and that.
Just ti say I'm working my butt off to keep the roof over our heads, he earns less than me.
Really been struggling financially so feel gutted
He also binge drinks, he can't go out socially without drinking himself into a stupor.
I'm so fed up and feel all the care and love I've given him has been thrown back at me.
He does nothing in the house. I'm scared if I instigate a divorce he will get half my pension.

Go to a divorce lawyer and find out what exactly he is entitled to if you split. Half your pension after 3 years of marriage? I don’t know. If you want to try to work it out, you need marriage counseling. But go to that divorce lawyer and get some information.

I would second the suggestion made to get legal advice asap re divorce; knowledge here is power.

I would not bother undertaking any joint counselling with a drunkard as it will be a complete waste of time. If counselling is to be considered go on your own.

I actually wouldn't let 3 years of Pensions hold you back from divorcing him.

That's really awful. The fact you only got married 3 years ago just around the time you got married and he kept all that money to himself is utterly disgusting.
If he told you at the time - why didn't you both benefit from it.

He should have been delighted to give you both a good start in lift. I'll bet he hasn't even spent it all, that's just a line he is feeding you. He has no intention of sharing anything with you. This is who he is - You need to get away from him.